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In one half of football on Monday, on-loan "Chelsea" striker Romelu Lukaku matched the total goal output of the three not-on-loan Chelsea "strikers."
Combined with his winner last weekend, the 20-year-old now has more goals in 224 minutes (286 if you count his three Chelsea appearances) than Torres, Eto'o, and Ba have managed in 716 minutes combined. Then again, Patrick Bamford has like six thousand already for MK Dons - 8 in 11(1) appearances to be precise - so as ever, don't forget to apply the usual disclaimers about teams, competitions, tactics, etc, etc, etc, etc...
Still, Lukaku was at his unplayable best vs. Newcastle, leading (once again) to ... let's call them, "discussions" ... about just where Chelsea would fall on a scale of stupid ranging from getting involved in a land war in Asia to the Invasion of Gallipoli and whether we could potentially rectify this whole thing by recalling the Fridge from Stamford Bridge to, you know, Stamford Bridge.
When asked recently, Mourinho wasn't exactly clear on the issue. Over to you then, Roberto:
Roberto Martinez confirms there is no recall option in either loan deal for Lukaku or Barry. "They're here for the season." #EFC
— Official Everton (@Everton) September 30, 2013
So that settles it then. Next year is the year then, right? Right? RIGHT?!
Until then, let's enjoy as Lukaku and Everton try to expand the Top 6 into a Top 7 and insert themselves into the title race discussion.
Glad we've settled that Romelu Lukaku is the greatest footballer ever and will never do anything other than be perfect at all times.
— dirtytackle (@BrooksDT) September 30, 2013
Even if he doesn't keep up his current better than goal-per-game pace.