We hadn't heard much on the Romelu Lukaku front recently, with most eyes on the attempted acquisition of a new right back. When last we checked, the Sun was running with the story that a loan move to Fulham was complete. That story, unsurprisingly, has turned out to be false. Agent Christophe Henrotay, quoted extensively in Sport.be, has confirmed that he's finalising a loan for Lukaku -- but definitely not to Fulham:
Je peux vous assurer que Romelu Lukaku n’ira pas à Fulham. La preuve, je suis en train de finaliser son passage dans une autre équipe de Premier League. Je ne peux pas dire laquelle, ni quand le transfert sera finalisé, mais ça avance bien pour l’instant.
In other words, we won't get any more confirmation until the loan is official. We'll just get fun rumours instead. There are eighteen potential teams! That's so much potential! There's been some suggestion that Wigan Athletic are the best fit, on account of starting the execrable Franco di Santo at centre forward, and that guess seems to me as good as any. This has some impact on Chelsea's hunt for another striker as well -- if Lukaku leaves they'll almost certainly have to bring in a new player to replace him.
There's also a bizarre aside towards the end in which Henrotay asserts that Lukaku is out for revenge on whatever the heck a Mike Calvin is for calling him the 'worst £20M player I've ever seen'. Fortunately for us all, Lukaku a) didn't cost that much and b) will not take his revenge on Mr. Calvin by ripping the oaf in half barehanded and using his duodenum to floss his teeth. Probably.