Chelsea's USA Tour Schedule Finalised

We've been getting the news in drips and drabs, but Chelsea have now finalised their plans for the summer tour of the United States. We have four fixtures on the cards, and they all sound like quite a lot of fun:

• July 18th, Seattle: Chelsea play the Seattle Sounders in the tour's only West Coast game. Also I will probably end up jailed for stalking David Luiz.
• July 22nd, New York City: Chelsea take on Carlo Ancelotti, Alex and Paris Saint-Germain in Yankee Stadium. Should be fun.
• July 25th, Philadelphia: MLS All-Star game. If I remember correctly, the last time we played the MLS All-Stars we lost 1-0, which was kind of embarrassing. Let's not do that again.
• July 28th, Miami: Serie A runners up (they lost out to Juventus this weekend) AC Milan will meet up with us in Florida. This is Chelsea's first trip to the region, and the match will be played in a 75,000 capacity stadium.