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So Let's Talk About Hulk Too, I Suppose

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YOU CANNOT RESIST THE POWER OF MY CHIN
YOU CANNOT RESIST THE POWER OF MY CHIN

I'm sure if heard the news by now if you're a Chelsea fan - Eden Hazard is set to sign with the Blues after a lengthy flirtation with basically everyone else in the business. It's been a long, drawn out process that's pissed off basically everyone involved and left us all assuming he's just going to bolt for a more handsome and successful man (Jose Mourinho?) as soon as he can, but we're going to put up with it for now because Eden Hazard is aces and so we can forgive a lot of things.

But there are still other transfer sagas going on, and one of the ones that you should be paying attention to is Hulk. I don't see any good reason to be going after another wide player when we have Hazard, Juan Mata, Ramires, Marko Marin, Daniel Sturridge and Kevin de Bruyne all in the team, but if Roman Abramovich is deadset on making a splash this would certainly be one (plus he could back up Fernando Torres at centre forward, something we desperately need to do).

Reports are circulating that Chelsea will pursue Hulk, who plies his trade at Porto, despite their acquisition of Hazard, and furthermore they're claiming that the two clubs are actually within £5M of a deal being made. This goes along with what we've been hearing out of Portugal for a little while - Hulk's eager to come to the Blues and Porto are willing to get things done.

Even if I think it's a really weird acquisition for Chelsea to be making in light of the fact that we just won the Eden Hazard sweepstakes, it's undeniable that Hulk would be an awesome glamour signing. I can't figure out a place to actually play him regularly and not leave our defence in an absolute shambles (playing without a centre forward in a 4-2-4-0 would work, but is never going to happen), but that doesn't mean he's not a boatload of fun. And since we're the champions of Europe, why not have a little fun?

And now for something completely different in which I make fun of the Mail:

With playmaker Hazard becoming an automatic first pick for the next manager, there will be a new position for Frank Lampard. His future will be in a deep-lying role, probably alongside John Mikel Obi.

THIS IS WHERE HE PLAYED FOR HALF OF LAST SEASON YOU CRETINOUS WORD-VOMITEERS.