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Eden Hazard Chooses Chelsea

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The wait's finally over. After months and months of teasing, Chelsea have secured the services of Belgian wonderkid Eden Hazard, beating out both Manchester City and Manchester United for his signature. This whole thing was so tightly choreographed by Hazard and his reps that the final announcement was made on his personal Twitter account rather than by the team:

We can expect confirmation from the club shortly, I'd imagine. All I can say is that this whole saga has been really annoying and that if he had gone anywhere else I'd absolutely hate his guts. However, since he picked us, this has just amounted to an enormous trollfest of everyone else, and I can certainly get behind such things. Hazard's a brilliant player and we're very lucky to have him - current rumour says his wages are a very reasonable £100,000 a week, give or take, and his transfer fees in the mid £30Ms.

Sure, this thing has been really irksome, and he's clearly a mercenary looking to build up his 'brand' while making as much money as possible, but hey, I don't really care as long as he makes the team better. And he will make the team much, much better.

Welcome to Stamford Bridge, Eden. Now kindly shut up and play football.