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Blow Up The Team! Smoke Bomb Goes Off At Cobham

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Artist's impression (of something completely different).
Artist's impression (of something completely different).

So I know we're not big on taking the Mail entirely on trust around these parts, but this is a pretty odd story. Apparently, training was disrupted at Chelsea's Cobham facilities when a smoke bomb went off in the dressing rooms on Friday morning, and yeah... I feel like this sentence needs an extra clause but I'm too bemused by this news to think of one.

In a normal football club, this would be scarcely believable, especially considering the source, but this is the same team which saw Ashley Cole shoot a guy last season, so I'm willing to fairly credulous about bizarre training ground incidents. Apparently, the perpetrators (or 'perps' in what I imagine police lingo to be) were a pair of reserve team players who are now in for fairly severe disciplinary actions. How you can get more severe than never having a chance to play for the first team ever I'm not really sure, but there you go.

So we've had a pellet gun and now smoke bombs at Cobham. What's next at this place of craziness? I have some possible suggestions:

  • Jose Bosingwa's eyebrow detaching itself, laying eggs, and forming an army of explosive caterpillars
  • Frank Lampard killing Ron Gourlay with an elephant gun*
  • David Luiz's hair turns out to be concealing a thermonuclear bomb
  • Ryan Bertrand plays football
  • Raul Meireles attacks an intern with a sword

*This is totally going to get me blacklisted by Chelsea FC. Sadsies.