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Hazard Watch: Winger Talking Up Manchester United

I spent ages thinking up a joke for this expression, but came to the conclusion that it stands on its own.
I spent ages thinking up a joke for this expression, but came to the conclusion that it stands on its own.

Remember how the Javier Pastore transfer saga panned out last summer? What started as legitimate sounding interest got dragged out until the whole point of paying attention was to hear the latest bizarre word-vomit Palermo chairman Maurizio Zamparini could lob at the footballing world? Yeah, the Eden Hazard sale is already there.

So what's his destination according to the latest scuttlebutt? Why, Manchester United of course:

Of course, [Manchester United] is a club that excites anyone.

For now my focus is on Lille but yes, it is a pleasure to be watched by one of the best coaches in the world, if not the best.

-Source: La Voix du Nord via ESPN Soccernet.

Right now, I don't particularly care where Hazard ends up, because I'm filled with some sort of semi-existential terror over the club's possible failure to finish in the top four*, so I'm not saying this out of spite, but how on earth does Hazard going to United make any sense at all? They're a team with no money made entirely out of wingers!

*Which, viewed from afar, is kind of hilarious. How entitled are we these days? I'd have done terrible, horrible things for a top five finish in my first few years as a football fan. Then again, football has changed a lot since those heady days. This should a post of its own, I suppose, but instead it's a footnote. Sorry. Don't be so greedy.

So far Hazard has been heavily linked with United, Tottenham Hotspur, Arsenal and Chelsea. The smart money is that he has no idea where in the Premier League he'll end up, and that his agent is just leveraging the media to get more attention for his client, whose chance of showing off on the European stage went up in smoke with Lille's last place group stage finish.

This post could probably be called 'John Bico is very good at his job'.

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