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West Ham United vs. Chelsea: The drinking game

Christopher Lee

Chelsea are playing a match against West Ham United in something like eleven hours. Matches haven't been very fun of late -- our last win in the Premier League was more than a month ago -- so we decided to change the preview format up a little bit. And by that I mean write down the rules of a West Ham vs. Chelsea drinking game, for Chelsea fans. Here goes.

Drink when...

  • Chelsea 'reset' an attack.
  • Fernando Torres fails to shoot when given the opportunity in the box. If he does take a shot, drink anyway.
  • The defensive players exchange eight or more passes in a row.
  • Aimless Chelsea cross. Double if from Cesar Azpilicueta.
  • You see a closeup of Benitez, Roman Abramovich, or Bolo Zenden.

...and when you hear...

  • 'Rafa' without 'Benitez'
  • 'Abramovich'
  • 'Organised'
  • About Andy Carroll's transfer fee.
  • About Fernando Torres' transfer fee.

Finish your drink when...

  • Chelsea concede.
  • A non-Torres attacking player is taken off for a defensive one while the team needs goals.

Special events

  • 16th minute: Applause. Then drink.
  • Half time: Drink if Chelsea haven't had a significant scoring opportunity. Finish drink if neither team has had a significant scoring opportunity.
  • Full time: Finish your drink. If final score 0-0, pour two more drinks; finish them too.

Stop drinking if...

  • You see Marko Marin. He is a mythical creature and does not actually exist. Clearly you have had too much to drink.

* * *

Date/Time: Saturday, December 1st. 12:45 pm GMT, 7:45 am EST, 6:15 pm IST.

Venue: Upton Park, London.

TV information: Sky Sports 2 (UK), ESPN 2 (USA), ESPN (India).

Watch online: ESPN 3 (USA).

Ceterum censeo Torrentem delendam esse.

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