Things I learned today: The Daily Mirror employs journalists. I don't know why I'd never even thought about this before - possibly my brain decided, for the sake of my faith in humanity, that the Mirror was just the vomit-like outpouring of a horde of malicious computer viruses - but apparently it's true. That doesn't make what they write any less idiotic, but it's always nice to put a name and face to those you hold beneath contempt.
Anyway, a Mirror journalist named Martin Lipton barfed up some drivel about how some Chelsea players wanted Jose Mourinho back, and I've only just found it. Chelsea TV anchor Gigi Salmon then invited Mr. Lipton onto her show and proceeded to give him a rather amusing dressing down:
While I don't actually doubt that some players would have liked Jose Mourinho back, my sources* in the Chelsea dressing room say the conversation went something like this:
Martin Lipton: So. The team hasn't been winning much lately, has it?
Secret Player: Who the [fun] are you and how did you get into my car?
ML: Nevermind that Mr. Player. Can I call you 'Secret'?
SP: No. You can actually [fun] off. WHY ARE THE DOORS LOCKED.
ML: Alright, Secret. What do you think of Jose Mourinho?
SP: He was a wonderful manager when he was here and is doing a brilliant job at Real Madrid and I'm going to call the police now.
ML scribbles furiously
ML: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha that my article done.
ML disappears in puff of smoke
I'm sure there are some players who still hold Mourinho in the highest regard - he is, after all, established as one of the top managers in club football and he led us to trophy after trophy when he was here. I don't think there are very many people who'd put anyone who's managed the the Blues since 2007 above the Special One in the managerial league tables, either. But turning something a) obvious and b) pointless into sensationalist crap is incredibly irritating, and good on Gigi for calling Lipton out on it.
*Apparently having imaginary sources is cool in journalism. Who knew?