The mill has been in a feisty mood this week. Let's take a look shall we?
• Jose to offer Kaka, Higuain in proposed move for Super Frank, Ashley
The Special One hasn't even formally taken over at Real Madrid. That hasn't stopped the man from sounding out potential transfer targets. Among them has been Maicon, Wayne Rooney and Steven Gerrard. Also highlighted have been Frank Lampard and Ashley Cole. Dross.
Now, the Daily Mail reckons Jose is willing to throw Kaka - just a year after his £60 million move to the Bernabeu - and the in-form Gonzalo Higuain into the frame to make a deal for Lamps and Ashley become a reality.
Plausibility (1-10): 2. Many media outlets are suggesting Cole could be seeking an escape route following his much publicized marital problems and the news that his wife has filed for divorce. Lampard and Cole both have a firm bond with Mourinho. Put it all together.
I, for one, can't see either choosing the lush extravagance of Madrid over the lush extravagance of London. The Mirror has word from an 'inside source' at the club saying Ashley is going nowhere. Me likes. Lampard, I just can't see him bailing on a club that has become his home.
• Contract talks with Joe Cole crumble
This? Again? Both the Times and the Guardian have stories pertaining to this latest breakdown. The Times say United are favorites; the Guardian sees Spurs in pole position.
Plausibility: 7. As much as I'd hate to see Coley in red, I can't see anything positive coming in the near future regarding he and this pseudo contract. If he won't accept the 85K on the table, a generous improvement on his standard 60K deal, following the patience shown in the wake of his injury and subsequent dip in form, then I guess he can jog on.
• Rijkaard, Galatasaray like the look of Stoch
Moving on so soon?
Chelsea Youth (be sure to follow this wonderful man on Twitter) put me on to this little nugget. The curled one, Frank Rijkaard, is casting a gleaming eye toward our youthful Slovakian Miroslav Stoch. Turkish paper Fanatik says Frankie has already personally called Stoch to confirm an interest. His reply: "It will be an honour to work with you. I hope the clubs can find an agreement."
Galatasary are looking at a bid of £3 million. Chelsea are seeking closer to 5 million in non-sequential euros (£4.2m)
Plausibility: 7. Stoch, despite a fantastic season on loan at Dutch champion FC Twente, is unlikely to see regular time in the Chelsea team. Not to say I'm pleased with it, but a move does seem inevitable.
• Benayoun says King Carlo wants him at Chelsea
Come again? This is a few days old, but new in comparison to the last time Chelsea Offside visited this Yossi to Chelsea nonsense. It seems there may be some credence to the idea after all (please no).
Here's Yossi, as quoted in the 24 May edn. of the Daily Mail: "Ancelotti wants me for next season and now everything depends on Liverpool. Chelsea will have to pay some £6m but I believe that in the end I'll be moving there."
Plausibility: 2. Another non-English 30-year-old? I simply cannot see it. The other Red linked in that story, however, sign that headcase up ASAP.
Stay tuned for our next edition of the rumour mill. Holla.