Apparently Florent Malouda is facing a three-match ban for his role - whatever that was - in an incident with the appalling Phil Neville early in Saturday's draw at Stamford Bridge.
Are you kidding me?
Let's go to the video review, shall we?
Wow. So Phil crashes into Malouda - from the back - for the second time in quick succession. Malouda reacts with what appears to be nothing more than a tap to the club logo on Neville's shirt. Phil responds with an epic act in which he squirms in Oscar fashion while grabbing the top of his head, miles away from where he was actually touched by Flo. Hilarity.
He then follows up with this gem of a quote regarding the incident.
"It was my first tackle of the game and after it I get struck in the face and I'm the one who ends up getting booked later on. I think it's the wrong decision. You want to keep 11 players on the pitch but you always want fairness."
Delirious. Less than a minute before the altercation, Neviller ripped through the back of Flo. There was a nice lil' dig on somebody before that, though the name escapes me. You were booked for three hacks inside the opening five minutes of the game. Come on, man.
Don't forget, Timmy Cahill could've blinded our goalkeeper and young Seamus Coleman had no problem lunging into several of our players, including Ashley in the penalty area.
And to think, David Moyes - who I respect greatly, by the way - had the audacity to suggest we were in fact the side who deserves a talking to. Read this: "And I've got to say, Phil Neville did fantastic, Florent Malouda stamped on him, got up and ran away, wanted nothing to do with it and a minute later one of their players went and got him booked. Unbelievable. I'm disgusted. Phil could quite easily have stayed down and held his face but he didn't."
What is he on? I can only assume he had not yet seen the replay.
Anyway. If Flo is suspended for this farce, I will be livid. Livid.
Match recap coming soon. I have no desire to revisit that second half, gross.