So, Chelsea's going to be nine points clear of Manchester United by the end of the weekend. You ask, how? I've got some answers for you. He's the first (of many).
1. Wayne Rooney's offseason training regimen...
Step 1: Learn From Fellow Star Athletes
Step 2: Improve Nutrition
Step 3: Eliminate Potential Vices
Step 4: Hire Personal Trainer
As you can see, Rooney has certainly put in the work during the offseason. He's clearly ready to rise to the occasion this Sunday. I only hope we can contain him.