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No way Jose

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The Special One -- correction: The Ordinary One -- was officially revealed as Inter Milan's brand spanking new manager today. He looked daiper as always, blurting out all kinds of smooth talk in a G'd up suit and tie.

However, there's this one part where he big ups himself -- like The Special One we know -- when asked if he would be seeking to sign some of his former players from Chelsea.

"I think it’s normal that, as a consequence of the relationship I have with the Chelsea players, that almost all of them want to work with me in the future and it’s the same for me," the One said.

Pish posh Jose. I'm sure some of them would love to work with you, but all of them? That's crazy talk for sure (At least I hope it is).

Anyway, we've all seen the rumors. Supposedly The Ordinary One is scheming to bring Lampard, Drogs, Essien and Carvalho to Milan. I say, hands off. I can deal with Drogs taking off. I can even learn to deal with the departure of Lamps and Carvalho (if we sign Mexes), but Essien? Never.

Of course, Mr. Ordinary took the high road, saying he only needs "two or three players." Since when has Inter only bought "two or three players," though.

Luckily, The Bison's agent cleared the air about his client's future, and had some pleasant things to say.

"I never said that Essien will move to Inter," Fabien Piveteau told setantasports.com. "I can tell you for sure that there have been no direct contacts between myself and Inter regarding a transfer.

"Obviously the arrival of Mourinho there makes the press say that his ex-players will move to Italy, but Essien is happy at Chelsea and never thought about leaving The Blues. Let me make it very clear: Essien is a Chelsea player and will stay at the club."

That makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Well, until Essien publicly admits an interest in leaving, Inter cough up 30-plus million and we lose one of the most dynamic players in the world. This, after all three of the aforementioned players bolt. I'm such an optimist aren't I?