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Cashley introduces revolutionary sex techniques

colefront_180_425425a.jpgVarious reports across the UK reveal that our man -- and your man too -- Ashley Cole has cheated on his beloved wife Cheryl, of Girls Aloud fame, with one Aimee Walton. The suspected escapade took place on Dec. 8, following the Blues' 2-0 win over Sunderland. Cole got tipsy, had one of his friend's holla at Walton and later took care of business at some flat.

Follow up reports indicate Cheryl is "inconsolable" and has booted Nat Queen Cole out of the hizzouse.

Nestled tightly inside all this creamy goodness is one outstanding tidbit: Cashley supposedly "blew chunks" in between skeeting on this h**. So this chick was cool with him throwing up, then returning to "finish up?" AWESOME. This gal definitely is a keeper. Sidenote: Someone should trademark the term "Sick Sex" now before it takes off (Be on the lookout for www.sicksex.com).

Other interesting nuggets from this horror show include Walton's comment on Cashley's physique (no homo): "For a footballer, I didn’t think he was in great shape. His legs weren’t that big and he wasn’t completely toned up top."

I guess this explains why he's been gar-bage for Chelsea. So Bill Gallas is dominant at the Emirates and we're stuck with a flabby a** guy who wears white after Labor Day? Nice.