For those of you who aren't familiar with the immortal Chris Farley, you should know that he was large and loud. It's possible that his over the top comedic style won't play well outside of the generally slapstick, but he seemed to have some way to make everyone (especially Jimmy Fallon) laugh. He died at 33, but he also left us with this gem.
When you return (and if Hulu doesn't play, you should look for the "Down by the river" Matt Foley SNL sketch on your own), you can also take a gander at the transcript here.
Now it's time for questions. Why, you might ask, am I having you watch that sketch? Mostly because it's funny. But also because of this line:
Well, you'll have plenty of time to live in a van down by the river when you're.. ..living in a van down by the river! Now, you kids are probably asking yourself, "Hey, Matt, how can we get back on the right track?!" Well, as I see it, there is only one solution! And that is for me to get my gear, move it on into here, 'cause I'm gonna bunk with you, buddy! We're gonna be buddies! We're gonna be pals!
Source -- SNL Transcripts
Matt Foley only sees one solution, and it's the most obvious possible solution: maybe the key to our central midfield need is already on our roster...
Marco van Ginkel.
I cannot confirm whether or not he lives in a van, but he was apparently born in Amersfoort, Netherlands, which does have a river flowing through it, making a van by the river at least a possibility.
I know it's the obvious answer, but it's also probably the least mentioned obvious possibility I've ever seen. There's an irony to this: people clamoring for Pogba or someone like that (and for good reason, he's a good player) and ignoring the talent we have close to home. It does seem that some of the people who want to just splurge on Pogba (£60m?!) are those who are critical about our inability to utilize our own talents.
And maybe it's better to just spend big on the more known entity. But in van Ginkel, we have a player who is a true box-to-box but has attacking talent (capable of playing attacking midfield and has filled in at striker). We can ask ourselves whether Oscar and Fabregas can play together if one must be in the pivot, but we could also bite the bullet on width (especially if we signed Luis Filipe and allowed Dave the freedom of the right hand side...) and play Fabregas, Oscar, and Hazard as the attacking midfield band.
I'm not a huge fan of Oscar playing on the wing, but I also believe the most talented players should usually play if they don't bring glaring weaknesses. Behind that attacking band? Matic and van Ginkel.
It's possible we just spend big, but sometimes the answer is right under the nose. All it takes is a little Chris Farley to point it out.