This truly is the silliest of seasons

Andrew Redington

This is not a story involving Chelsea, at least not directly. But it is bizarre and hilarious and, if true, offers an insight into just how weird the world of top-level football is becoming. The synopsis: Yaya Toure wants to leave City because they weren't nice enough on his birthday.

That is a sentence to be savoured. Read it again. Let it seep into your bones. Yaya Toure wants to leave City because they weren't nice enough on his birthday. There are quotes -- and they're great quotes -- from his agent, if none from the man himself, who seems to be remarkably insecure for such a successful, famous footballer. The highlights include:

He got a cake but when it was Roberto Carlos's birthday, the president of Anzhi gave him a Bugatti. I don't expect City to present Yaya with a Bugatti, we only asked that they shook his hand and said 'we congratulate you'.

'we congratulate you' for not dying before turning 31.

This isn't about money or a new contract – it's about human relationships and City have shown they don't respect him. I repeat, this is not about money. In fact, he would take less to return to Barcelona.

So yeah. Birthdays matter, everyone. (Speaking of birthdays, it's Petr Cech's 32nd today. Happy birthday, Petr! Get him a Bugatti and a handshake, Roman. That's my advice.) Also, silly season is great.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9353_tracker