The Daily Hilario: Matchweek 34

Getty Images

Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. Time for some football.

The two matches that we truly care about are both tomorrow, so until then, let's hope for some laughs out of Arsenal or Spurs. Or perhaps both! That'd be grand. COME ON YOU JOSH McEACHRANS!

In other news...

If you're wondering about the strange kick-off times this weekend | Premier League
A minute's silence at 3:06pm (and one minute before all other matches) will be observed on the 25th anniversary of the Hillsborough disaster.

Wayne Rooney might miss the rest of the season | The Busby Babe
Good for England; irrelevant for United.

Atlanta set to become the next MLS expansion site | SB Nation
So that's 23 of the 24 planned teams for this round. Let's hope they do better than the Thrashers.

Note to self: If I ever have a child, make sure he's born in January | David Bauer
Birth months of professional football players are distributed unevenly, with January-born children seemingly possessing a distinct advantage - an advantage that actually seems to be increasing!

FOOTBALL (all times BST):
11.00: U18 Premier League, 5th(N) vs. 4th(S): Newcastle United U18 vs. Chelsea U18 (hey, that's us)
12.22: Championship, 4th vs. 10th: Queens Park Rangers vs. Nottingham Forest
15.07: Premier League, 16th vs. 6th: West Bromwich Albion vs. Tottenham Hotspur
15.07: Premier League, 14th vs. 13th: Crystal Palace vs. Aston Villa
15.07: Premier League, 18th vs. 17th: Fulham vs. Norwich City
15.07: Premier League, 8th vs. 19th: Southampton vs. Cardiff City
15.07: Premier League, 10th vs. 9th: Stoke City vs. Newcastle United
15.07: Premier League, 20th vs. 5th: Sunderland vs. Everton
17.07: FA Cup, semifinal: Wigan Athletic vs. Arsenal
17.30: Bundesliga, 1st vs. 4th: Bayern Munich vs. Borussia Dortmund
18.45: Eredivisie, 12th vs. 4th: Cambuur vs. Vitesse
19.00: La Liga, 15th vs. 2nd: Granada vs. Barcelona
21.00: La Liga, 3rd vs. 19th: Real Madrid vs. Almeria
03.00 (next day): USL Pro, 14th vs. 4th: OC Blues vs. Sacramento Republic FC

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9353_tracker