The Daily Hilario: Chelsea U18 in FA Youth Cup, Champions League Round of 16 second legs begin

LOOK INTO MY EYES PUNY HUMAN; YOU SHALL BE ASSIMILATED - Lennart Preiss

Your daily dose of off-topic shenanigans. Now with extra Chelsea U18.

Yesterday, I built a fire pit out of metal, concrete, and brawn. Yes, I am all that is man. No, no, it's ok; you may hold your applause.

Chelsea U18 are back in live Chelsea TV action today as they travel to Newcastle in the quarterfinals of the FA Youth Cup. With the senior side already out of the Wigan Cup, it is up to the youth to keep our FA Cup tradition going. UP THE BLUES!

Meanwhile, Champions League is back today as well, with Bayern putting on the finishing touches on yet another Cup elimination for Arsenal, and also with Thibaut Courtois and Atletico Madrid taking care of business against Michael Essien's AC Milan. The results may be preordained, but I'm sure it'll be fun watching regardless.

In other news...

Rich Peverley, once of DP's All-Stars, collapses on the ice with a "cardiac event" | SB Nation
Uh-oh... :( Peverley is in stable condition.

Kevin Strootman to miss World Cup with torn ACL | SB Nation
Well that sucks for the Netherlands.

On a lighter note, Shearer & Savage in #Backsides | SB Nation
Newcastle's all-time leading goalscorer and the Premier League's all-time most full-of-himself-crap-player-not-named-Barton attempt to sit in every one of the 90,000 seats at Wembley to raise money for Sports Relief. Gentlemen, start your padded shorts!

FOOTBALL (all times GMT):
19.05: FA Youth Cup, quarterfinal: Newcastle United U18 vs. Chelsea U18 (hey, that's us; live on Chelsea TV)
19.45: Champions League, Round of 16 second leg: Bayern Munich vs. Arsenal (2-0 agg.)
19.45: Champions League, Round of 16 second leg: Atlético Madrid vs. AC Milan (1-0 agg.)

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