Mourinho, the man your manager could smell like

They see me trollin'; they hatin'; tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty... - Ian Walton

Hello, Arsenal, look at your manager, now back to me, now back at your manager, now back to me. Sadly, he isn't me, but if he stopped using loser's scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he's me.

José doing José things.  Not long after he got Manuel "I don't respond to Mourinho" Pellegrini to respond to Mourinho, he's now gotten Arsene Wenger to respond to him as well.  What a disgrace to the English game, that Jose Mourinho!  Wait, what was that about Chelsea's poor results over the last few days?

"I do not want to go into those silly, disrespectful remarks."

"I never spoke about him in my press conference and I will not start now. The only thing I know is it is more embarrassing for Chelsea than for me"

-Arsene Wenger; source: Telegraph

So is this the part where Arsene doesn't lower himself to Jose's level?  "I don't want to talk about those silly comments from that silly man, but here is my opinion about those silly comments from that silly man." Or was he just feeling emboldened by his lucky 2-1 Howard Webb over Liverpool to come out for one more round of trench warfare?

To be clear, when Wenger referred to managers talking down their own chances of winning the title, there had been a grand total of one manager who's been continually talking down his chances at a title.  Maybe two, if you want to include outside-chance-r Brendan Rodgers.  Just because you didn't refer to him by name, Arsene, we all know who you were talking about.  Don't act all dumb now.  But keep on talking about the man you don't want to start talking about, Monsieur Polite.

It's a bit funny that after all these years and two separate stints in charge of Chelsea, Mourinho is still so easily able to create, influence, and guide the narrative using not just the lackeys in the media but opposing managers as well.  You sure you ready to join this party, Brendan Rodgers, or would you just rather stay out of the line of fire in fourth?

Look down, back up, where are you? You're on a boat with the manager your manager could smell like. What's in your hand, back at me. I have it, it's an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your manager smells like Old Spice and not a loser. I'm on a horse*.

* a little horse

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