Dave the Rat, a.k.a. Cesar Azpilicueta, says left back ain't no thing but a chicken wing

Laurence Griffiths

Well, not in so many words because that would be a silly thing to say. Could you image somebody using that as a blog post title?

There is a new interview with Cesar Azpilicueta up on Chelsea Official.  You probably should check it out, even if it's mostly standard fare about working hard, winning trophies, and getting along like the one big happy Chelsea family that we are.

I couldn't help but laugh just a bit though when he was asked about what it's like to play left back.

"Obviously I'm used to playing as a right-back but when the manager asked me to play at left-back I just wanted to do my best.  The role is very similar, although of course there is more need for me to use my left foot."

-Cesar Azpilicueta; source: Chelsea FC

Stunning insight.

Back in a prior millennium when I played competitively in an academic setting, I used to be a right back.  Sometimes I was switched over to left back, usually when the coach got delusions of tactical grandeur or just looked at his notes upside down.  If I had only known that all I had to do was use my left foot more, it could've turned out to be something better than a complete disaster!  Drats!  I could've been a contender!  Where were you then, Mr. Smartypants?!  Where!?

In the interview we also learn that Dave's clubhouse nickname isn't "Dave" but "Rat."  I guess this is old information actually, but I must've missed that interview with Gary Cahill.  In my defense, Gary Cahill is boring.  But there you go.  Dave the Rat.  Just like my other (ex-)favorite Dave the Rat!

Sadly, Athpillykweta isn't asked why he insists on always keeping his shirt tucked in* tight, if he practices his creeper smile or if it just comes naturally, or if he secretly wants to be a handball player for Team Spain instead.

* still less weird than the whole cut-off short shorts obsession that Lampard has

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