Mourinho's cry for help answered by local provider of DIY power tools

Mike Hewitt

Mr. Allardyce, tear down that wall!

As you may recall, following our failed assault on the 19th Century fortification known as the West Ham United Goalmouth, Jose Mourinho bemoaned our lack of proper tools available for the job.  How are we to tear down the Great Wall of James Tomkins?  How can mere mortals pass through the Gates of (H)Adrián?  Even if we had eleven Messis, we would've surely failed in the face of such mythical "tacticking" and outwitting of all wits ever that Big Sam put on display Wednesday night!

"I tried to change players to bring new things to the game but the only thing I could bring more was a Black and Decker, to destroy the wall!"

-Jose Mourinho; source: Chelsea FC

Oh, a Black and Decker you say?

The lawful good wizards at the local Worx have found just the necessarily implements to blast that wall into smithereens.

"Our high performance power tools are strong enough to break down any walls - not least one made up of James Tomkins and Razvan Rat. We're confident the WX166 20V Drill Driver can do the job"

-Carly Bidwell, Worx Shaman; source: Mirror

That's right, a whole truckload of two-speed, 40Nm, 20V drills with single-sleeve chucks!  With a recharge time of just 30 minutes!?

Out-tactic this, bitch!

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