This Name or that Name - A guide to your next Chelsea Jersey

Now that the 3rd kit has been officially released I decided that this was the time to release this ultimate guide to what name to place on the back of your next Chelsea jersey. Essentially I have 5 rules. (In addition to the fact that they are a good player)*

  1. Originality - Sure Frank Lampard is a Chelsea legend but if you walk into a bar during a Chelsea match around 50% of them will have a Lampard jersey. Why not stand out?
  2. Rookies Rule - Beware of the rookies, We all know what happened to Marko (Rookies include players such as Lukaku as it is his first real season in contention for a starting XI place.)
  3. The Bandwagon Rule - Try to identify the next breakout player, You can then say with pride that you knew that player would be a success all along. (This rule only overrules the Rookie Rule only in exceptional circumstances.)
  4. Longevity - Make sure the player you choose will be around with the club for a while, and not sold to Real Madrid next summer.
  5. Playing time - You don't want a player who will be out all season with an injury - Or who is constantly rotated in and out of the squad.

*Being a better player gets you more base points such as Hazard, Mata etc.

So lets go through every single serious contender. (I know this is quite hard to read but it is nigh on impossible to format it any other way)

Petr Cech - 6/10

Pros - Guaranteed to play every game while fit, Has achieved near legendary status, Brilliant Goalkeeper.

Cons - May be gone next season, Would have to buy a goalkeepers jersey.

Schwarzer - 2/10

Pros - Original for sure.

Cons - May be gone next season, Would have to buy a goalkeepers jersey, Will only play if Cech is injured/game not important.

Ivanovic - 6/10

Pros - Original, Established Chelsea player

Cons - Rotational Issues, Not going to "emerge" and have a super season (Proven Entity)

Ashley Cole - 6.5/10

Pros - Original, Established Chelsea player + A bonus point for annoying Arsenal fans.

Cons - Injury concerns? May be gone next season

David Luiz - 8.85/10

Pros - No.1 Centre back, Young, Long Chelsea career ahead, He is a Geezer

Cons - "The Bandwagon rule", May get lectured due to wearing his shirt on how he should play in a central midfield role, Which may result in you losing your temper somewhat.

Terry - 4/10

Pros - Captain, Leader, Legend etc.

Cons - Controversy, Longevity, Originality, Injury concerns + May not start

Frank Lampard - 7/10

Pros - Legend, Legend, Legend, Legend, Legend, Legend, Oh and he might get 20 goals this season

Cons - Originality, May be gone next season, Rotation Issues + Injury concerns?

Juan Mata - 9/10

Pros - Genius, Good Longevity, Proven

Cons - Slight Rotational issues, "Bandwagon Rule"

Eden Hazard - 8/10

Pros - Genius Mk II , Young so "could" stay with team for a long time

Cons - Slight Rotational issues, Could be sold at some point due to overflow of similar players, "Bandwagon Rule".

Oscar - 7.75/10

Pros - Genius Mk III , Good Longevity

Cons - Rotational issues, "Bandwagon Rule".

Van Ginkel - 3.5/10

Pros - Longevity, Decent Preseason

Cons - "Rookie Rule" , Massive Rotational Issues, - 1 point for Justin Beiber lookalike

Andre Schurrle - 5.5/10

Pros - Longevity, Getting there before the Bandwagon

Cons - "Rookie Rule" , Massive Rotational Issues.

KDB - 7.5/10

Pros - Longevity, PPP (Possible Pivot Placement), Preemptively beating the Bandwagon

Cons - Rookie Rule, Possible rotational issues.

Lukaku - 8.5/10

Pros - Dearth of talent up front, Longevity, Good Preseason,

Cons - Rookie Rule , Slightly Obvious.

To Round up


Schwarzer, Schurrle, Terry and Van Ginkel

Playing it safe?

Cech, Ivanovic, Cole + Oscar

Chelsea's Future

Luiz, Mata, Hazard + Lukaku

My Choice

Kevin De Bruyne

This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any sort of approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions held by the editors of this site.

Log In Sign Up

Log In Sign Up

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.




Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.