This is kind of late but this writing this has been on my mind for quite some time. Better late than never, right? Lets get straight to business.
The Surpassed Expectations Award
I didn't have to think twice about this. Of all our newcomers, the two that stood out most this season were Eden Hazard and Cesar Azpilicueta. Eden more or less lived up to expectations. Cesar though smashed them. Coming from Marseille for an estimated transfer fee of £7m, and given the unproven reputation of the player one would presume moderate wages too, it's fair to say he has been a bargain. With a declining Dani Alves still keeping the promising Martin Montoya out of the Barcelona team, and with Arbeloa's place next season in the Real Madrid team unsure in light of Dani Carvajal's arrival, for the affectionately-named 'Dave' a regular starting place for La Roja beckons. And you could put money on him to make it his own just like he's made the Chelsea right-back spot his own.
The Bipolar Performances Award
Not too many nominees for this. We've either seen consistent mediocrity or consistent class from our players this season. Except one. A certain Blue Kenyan whose performances have oscillated between abysmal and game-changing. There's a good argument to be made that perhaps Ramires is just that kind of a player, who is very strong in one department and very weak in another, so his varying form from match to match comes as no big surprise. Anyway, this is your award Ramires.
The We Know You're Better Than This Award
Class is permanent? Fernando Torres? The once most lethal striker in Europe? I can sense the itchy fingers and derisive replies forming in your mind. Well, it's not him. Going home with this honour is Oscar. I love Oscar. He plays like he's half-European and half-Brazilian. Which is a good thing in case you are wondering. But in terms of impact Oscar hasn't even been close to our top five players. Everybody you ask will give you a different reason for this. Some will say he's had to adapt from the laid-back Brazilian league to the rigorous English league. Others will defend him by pointing out his tender age. Personally, I think it's the fact he has been mismanaged and misused. Oscar's played half the season out of his natural position and both the managers we've had this season have used him for defensive work-rate more than his creative genius. The discussion will go on till the next season kicks off. Apply yourself Oscar!
The GTFO of My Club Award
I think you know who you are. Just step up on stage and take this quietly and head backstage. Then pack your belongings and head for the exit, you are redundant.
The OKAY Award
The OKAY award is predictably given to some who has been just OKAY. Not awesome, not piss-poor. Doesn't incite hatred, doesn't generate applause. But has done OKAY, which is admirable if done super-consistently. Paulo Ferreira had a stranglehold on the OKAY Award for eons. Therefore we are in the process of renaming this honour the Ferreira Award. So who has been 7/10 week in week out this season? Ashley Cole. Once a 9/10 player, now in a different phase of his career and in what will probably his last year at Chelsea. A pat on shoulder Ashley and some lukewarm appreciation!
The Scapegoat Award
The level of the performances from the Scapegoat don't matter. He'll always get less than what he deserves. An easy target for abuse and a solitary outlet to vent anger after the failings of whole team, which consists of untouchable and expensive players, who no one dares criticise. No major twist here. It is who you expect it to be. Mr. John Obi Mikel. The blame somehow managed to find its way to him even when he hardly played in the second half of the season. He's apparently on his way out. It is such a shame he's leaving but my bigger concern is what are we going to do without a scapegoat? Will we have to scrutinise each and every player on the team now?
Since I'm running out of time the ceremony ends here, unfortunately prematurely. Did you want to find out who the Player of the Season was? Hint: His name starts with a J.