My ( veeeeeeery) late WAGNHSSS

Hello everybody, this is my extremely late WAGNHSSS that I did because I was bored a 2:30 in the morning and can't go to sleep. It's not really a WAGNHSSS as that deadline ended a while ago but it's that kind of format so I borrowed the name. For some reason Roman has gotten rid of Emanelo and has given the keys to his yacht and £100 million to a 15 year teenager who is going through puberty WHO ISN'T EVEN HIS SON. Odd man.

So after taking his yachtalo for a spin and probably wrecking it I would then set my eyes on transfers. Starting with departures.


Free: Yossi, Malouda, Paulo, Hilarious, Turnbull

Thank you guys for your service, especially Malouda (embarrassed how we treated him last season) and Paulo, great servant to the club, hope you come back in a coaching role.


Chabloah- A decent lower midfield PL team where he'll be the sure starter would be good. Gutted Watford didn't get promoted as I would've liked for him to spend another season with the legend.

Joshie Mc- To hard to type his full name this late, but you all know who he is. Was once one of our beat talents but is now seems to be quite behind, have no idea what happened, I had high hopes for this guy and I hope he comes back.

KDB- A bit controversial this one as most people want him to stay, but with our magicians and the players I'm gonna buy he's probably not going to get enough game time. I know we have a ton of games and that he's definitely going to play for a lot of them if he stays, I would like to send him out to a team like Bayern Leverkusen where he would be a guaranteed starter and play in the champions league for a good team.

Tomas Kalas- Loan him to a mid table club I guess? Great talent, good be our future Ivanovic.

Omureo- No need to rush him, loan to the same team as last year. (I admit it, I forgot their name but it's almost 3 am gimme a break :P)

Kane- Did well at Blackburn surprising me, no need for unnecessary change.

Ake- He wants to stay but it's much better for him if he's loaned out, I'd say same thing as Chabloah, Watford and the little magician Zola.

Courtois- If it ain't broke don't fix it, Courtois is probably the best young keeper in the world, and he's been brilliant at Athlethico and likes it there. He'll be playing in the champions league which wouldn't happen if we were to send him to England so off to Athletico Madrid you go.

Hutchinson- I love you Hutchinson, you were once one of our best young talents and looked like the future John Terry who could also play at centre back, and then you got a horrible injury that ruined your career and seemingly ended it. But you showed true fit to fight back to be able to play for your beloved club once more, and for that I can't let you go. Your just too inspirational, even if your probably never gonna make it :(.


Torres for £10 m- Honestly I'd sell him for a pack of chewing gum a a chocolate bar, but with figures like 20 mil going around I decided to be genorous. I hated it when we bought him as he was clearly out of form and was stupid money, but ah well, too late now.

Bruma for £4 m- Buyback clause juuuuust in case.

Kakuta for £4 m- Same as up top.

So that £118 million for transfers, looking good.


Now the fun bit, I'll be going from back to front.


GK: Green for £2 m- Why not? Decent back up for Chelsea, will probably not play many games and homegrown. Also pretty damn cheap and barely effects my transfer kitty.

CB: A lot of people have been throwing names like Varane and Hummels around but frankly up those are both very unlikely and very expensive, why not go for cheap but still awesome CB...

Kyriakos Papadopoulos - Pure Beast (via OfficialEPL)

Papadopoulos for £15 million- To be our worldclass partner David Luiz? Great player and very good in the air, also proven in the league most like the BPL.

Luke Shaw vs Chelsea 12-13 HD 16.01.2013 (via Dunkmaster3333)

LB: Luke Shaw for £15 m- Great player in the BPL already and is only 17! He's only 2 years older than me and playing regularly in the best league in the world, bloody hell am I jealous. He's also a Chelsea fan so bonus points there. Loaned back to Southampton for experience as Cole's still here, Bertie to back him up.

And that's that for defence, 2 pricey buys with one cheap keeper for £32 million at the end. So that's £88 million left, pretty good.

On to the next one which is...


our best and worse area in both quality and depth. Exciting.

CDM: Think we're fine here, I like Matic and de Rossi but Matic is EXTREMELY pricey and de Rossi's old and expensive so... Mikel's a good player too, by far the most underrated player at our club.

Ilkay Gündogan vs Real Madrid 1/2 CL - Home & Away (via BorussenComps1)

CM: Our dreaded position as we have no player to dictate the tempo of the game. I'm gonna splash here because it's a real position of need. So I'll say...

BVB's Gundongan for £30 m- Brilliant young player who would be the undisputed starter. A lot of cash but, IMO, worth it.

Marco van Ginkel for £8m- Great young player who looks like a real talent, a available for really cheap too. Loan him back to Vitese as with Gundogan, Lamps, Rambo, and The Bison he might not get much playing time.

CAM- Were good, a lot of people think that switching to the 4-3-3 would be best for us but I think with Mata, Hazard OscR, and one of my later signings this is our best formation, especially with Gundogan brought in. So mata, hazard, Marin, Moses, Oscar and a winger I'm about to buy for 3 places? Obama-not-bad-campaign-poster_medium


ANDRE SCHURRLE | Goals, Skills, Assists | 2012/2013 (HD) (via gundoganed)

Winger- Schurrle for £18 m- I really like Schurrle, scores goals, gets assists, works hard at defending, and would add a different dimension to our attack. Many people seem to forget that he's only 22 and could very well be the next Bale (without the horrible heart celebration TM.)

So that's £56 m spent on midfield which leaves £32 million left to spend on strikers and extra youth players.

With only Ba and Lukaku at the club I really need to get a striker, and preferably one who brings something different, sheer pace, like Anelka once did for us. Schurrle could do this but I'm not quite comfortable with that and I have a ton of money left so why should I do that?


I thought of Lewa but he's probably going to Bayern. I even thought of Walcott as I really like the guy, fast, seems like a nice down to Earth bloke, but while his transition from winger to striker might go well, it also might not. So I picked a guy I've seen quite a few people talk about recently, who's young, versatile, and available for a decent price who is...

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang | All Goals And Assists So Far | Saint Etienne 2012-13 | 6th April | (via zAGN4)

for £15 million- A young very good striker who just scored 21 goals in 44 goals in all competitions, is very versatile being able to play on the wing or behind the striker, unselfish, and a classy finisher. Aubameyang could be our new Anelka for our new Drogba (Lukaku.)

So a quick recap:

Sell: Torres, Kakuta, Bruma- £18 million

Buy: Green ,Papadopoulos, Shaw, Gundogan, van Ginkel, Schurrle, and Aubameyang- £103 million

£15 million pounds left for any youth buys, which is not my specialty so we'll just skip that.

I would show you what my formations with this would be but I'm tired, so I might just do it later in the comment section. Thanks for reading, and sorry if its hard to read, did it all on my IPad except for the added vids and obamo meme.


This FanPost was contributed by a member of the community and was not subject to any sort of approval process. It does not necessarily reflect the opinions held by the editors of this site.

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