Right, so I've read quite a few of these so far and have decided to have a pop at writing one myself. I won't be going into the same kind of detail as in tr00ly's wonderful write-up (http://www.weaintgotnohistory.com/2013/5/28/4373330/wagnh-summer-spending-spree-speaking-the-trooth_) but hopefully I can still get close to his levels of accuracy and realism.
I'll start with the obvious departures...
LEAVING ON A FREE
Turnbull, Hilario, Paulo Ferreira (ideally offered a coaching role), Benayoun, Malouda.
I'm not expecting any arguments here. These are all pretty much foregone conclusions and this lot are very much already packing their bags for pastures new.
TO BE SOLD
Fernando Torres - Sorry, Fernando, but your time is up. 'The expensive one' actually had a very decent 2012-13 season, but a 'decent' goal tally having played 50-odd games with the support of Mazacar just goes to show how hit and miss Torres has been. Time to refresh, in my opinion. His wages will be an issue, but we should be able to get £12 million for our number nine.
Marko Marin - Is he still alive? Only insiders at CFC seem to know. When someone is behind Benayoun in the pecking order, it's time to let them go. As long as he is still alive, I reckon we can get around £4 million, with MM likely heading back to the Bundesliga.
Gael Kakuta - More trouble than he's been worth, in the end. Possibly worth keeping as a homegrown quota filler, but probably better to cash in now. We should be happy to get £3 million (probably from the French league) I reckon.
Jeffrey Bruma - Quite simply not a Chelsea calibre defender. Had a decent time with Hamburg in his first season, though not so much last season. Nevertheless, there should be enough interest from the continental leagues to get about £2 million.
Todd Kane - It saddens me to have to put Todd in here, as I've always thought he could contribute to our first team plans at some point. The purchases of Azpilicueta and Wallace have restricted his chances, though. We should be able to find a Championship side who are willing to pay around £2 million for him, which is good business in my opinion.
The £100 million budget plus the profits from these sales gives me a grand total budget of £123 million. Firstly, though, I'll deal with the outgoing loanees...
TO BE LOANED
Thibaut Courtois - Just one more year out on loan should be enough for young Courtois. Another spell at Atletico would suffice but it might be preferable to target a loan to a mid-table Premier League club to give him a taste of PL football. Someone like West Ham or Fulham would be ideal.
Kevin De Bruyne - This was a tricky one, as I believe KDB is certainly good enough to be a serious part of the Chelsea first team next season. In the end though, the decision to loan him has been taken in order to facilitate another transfer (I'm sure you can guess which one). Off to Leverkusen for a year then, Kevin! As with Courtois, this will be his last loan spell.
Nathaniel Chalobah - Had a great season with Watford and should look to build on it next season, perhaps at a newly-promoted side like Crystal Palace. Could even excel at Norwich or Sunderland, though.
Josh McEachran - I think we all want to see Josh playing regularly for Chelsea eventually. Another loan to the Championship would probably be his best option, though he could possibly go for a lower PL club if he's feeling ambitious.
Kenneth Omeruo - Seriously considered keeping him as a centre back option, but in the end decided he could do with a loan to a slightly bigger club than ADO Den Haag. Somewhere in Germany or France, perhaps. He won't be short of takers.
Lucas Piazon - Another one I considered keeping at the Bridge, but I would like to see another season at Malaga for the young Brazilian. With Isco likely leaving, amongst others, he could see plenty of valuable first team action.
Other Loanees: Patrick Van Aanholt (too good for Vitesse now, should go to a big European league), Nathan Ake (he's ready - possibly Championship), Tomas Kalas (see PVA), Wallace (Vitesse), Thorgan Hazard (Vitesse).
And now for those all-important additions...
TO BE BOUGHT
Diego Lopez - Chelsea could really do with a decent second choice keeper. With Cech having suffered injury before and next season promising a young, new first choice stopper, someone like Diego Lopez could really be an important acquisition. Would arguably bring better performances out of whoever the first choice keeper is. Liked by Mourinho, and likely to be out of favour again at Madrid next season. Could be available for about £5 million. Bargain.
Eliaquim Mangala - Most WAGNH regulars will be familiar with Mangala, the young Porto centre back who is one of the best defensive prospects in Europe. I considered Marquinhos at Roma and Subotic at Dortmund, but age and availability led to me choosing Mangala. Could slip straight in alongside David Luiz to complete a very solid back four. Would not be cheap though. £30 million of my budget goes towards this one.
Luke Shaw - One for the future. The near future, though. Ashley Cole's long term future at the club is doubtful and an easy solution to his contract situation would be to invest in a perfect replacement. I would loan the young left-back back to Southampton for a season while Ash sees out his contract. Then, he could easily become out first choice. Would demand an initial £10 million fee.
Marouane Fellaini - Ever Since Michael Ballack left, we have lacked steel and strength in midfield. Fellaini is the cure. The Belgian is strong, agile, versatile, scores goals and is very much available. Once again, not cheap. But his buyout clause of around £23 million should do the trick.
Andre Schurrle - Looks set to happen anyway. Great option to have on either wing or as a striker. Offers something totally different to Mazacar and would add some much needed depth to the attack. Throwing in KDB on loand should enable us to wrap up this deal for £20 million.
Robert Lewandowski - With Falcao heading to Monaco, Lewandowski should be the number one choice for Chelsea's striker needs this summer. Perfect in a 4-2-3-1 formation that Chelsea have grown used to playing, and a natural goalscorer. His contract situation means he would probably be let go for as little as £30 million, which is a steal. Looks to be heading to Bayern, though God only knows why they need him. I would do everything in my power to snatch him from Bayern's grasp.
And that's that really. A total of £118 million spent from a budget of £123 million leaves £5 million to spend on youth players and new contracts. Here's that Squad in full...
GK: Cech, Diego Lopez, Blackman
MF: Ramires, Fellaini, Lampard, Mikel, Romeu, Essien, Mata, Oscar, Hazard
FW: Schurrle, Moses, Lewandowski, Lukaku, Ba
As far as I can tell, this 25-man squad will fit the homegrown quota for the league, with perhaps a couple of minor changes needed for the Champions League regulations. Let me know in the comments if you know of any problems.
Cheers for reading!