Andre Villas-Boas preempts the Portuguese Handshake Crisis; Doomsday Clock reset to 23:53

Scared by the prospect of handshake missiles flying, Martin Jol demonstrates SQUEAKY BUM TIME - Richard Heathcote

Well, there's a load off my mind.

I'm actually surprised it's taken this long for some journalist to remember that the ex-Chelsea and current Tottenham Hotspur manager has a bit of history with the ex-Chelsea and current Real Madrid manager. Meanwhile, imagined tensions between the Master and the Learner have been building. They were probably approaching the boiling point, ready to erupt and take this whole stinkin' football operation with it.

Fortunately, Andre Villas-Boas has managed to conjurize effective diffusification techniques and exercise their proper application to the lit fuse. Just in the nick of time, too; the Doomsday Clock was about to strike midnight!

[Our relationship is] fine.

I haven't seen him for years... I will shake his hand.

-Source: The Daily Mail

We should all feel safer. The nuclear winter of yet another handshake-gate has been averted. Praise be to THE GROUP ONE, almighty savior of the football world once again.

Or is he?

While Andre seems quite convinced that the return of The Special One is a done deal and that is spectacular and "a great addition to the league," he could not resist firing a test shot, much to the detriment of yet another Pacific atoll paradise.

There is maximum respect for what he has achieved, but for it to be at the level of Real Madrid's expectancy, we will never know. Probably not, but he certainly has won a league against a dream Barcelona team, which is a great achievement.

-Source: The Telegraph

DUN-DUN-DUN!

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