Silly season! Well yeah it's still about 3 months until EPL starts again so my life will be really boring. I watched The Avengers yesterday and suddenly found an idea, what if Chelsea players were superheroes? Who are the best superheroes for our players? here I'm trying to figure it out.. (Note that I use supervillains not because I don't like our players, but I want more variations) Let's start from our goalkeeper...
1. Petr Cech : Saint Petr! The only guardian on the goalpost! The tough guy! He's the one who receive most damage, almost died on the battlefield yet he never complains. Am I wrong if I choose Petr Cech as Superman? He saves our asses many times, just like Kal El saves Metropolis everyday
2. Branislav Ivanovic : The man bear! The vicious one! Legend says thou shall not mess with Ivanovic. I think you're all aware who's the most obvious choice for Ivanovic, but if you're don't here I give you a clue. I received an e-mail weeks ago that when Suarez bit Bran, he secretly approached Suarez in his mansion the night after, beats him up until Suarez went dying, the finishing move? He viciously broke Suarez's back!
3. John Terry : The captain who rallies his troops on the battlefield, hard-nosed guy, the patriotic one, he'll do everything to prevent goals. Be careful.. you don't want to look selfish and egoistic in front of him, because he will say something like this "you're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you" Yes people! he is Captain America!
4. David Luiz : The fire, the spirit, buccaneering style of play, blessed with gorgeous hair and never-say-die-attitude (though he can sometimes lose focus and let the temper get better of him). You're wondering why he never afraid to put his body on the line? Doing those brave tackles without any fear of getting injured? Or messing with someone like Yaya Toure? Because his bone consists of adamantium steel and he can regenerate himself! When we did medical test after he arrived from Benfica, Roman ordered our medical staff to plant adamantium steel to his bone, so no one can mess with our midgets when Luiz is there. So yeah he's Wolverine
5. Cesar Azpilicueta : Bargain of the season, one of our most consistent performer, precise with his tackling, reliable, has a good vision for a RB. I'm struggling to find the suitable superhero for him out there, though I think he'll suit with my imagination as a someone who carries arrows on his back. So yeah he's Hawkeye
6. Ashley Cole : He was once the best on his position but age caught up with him, Ronaldo's kryptonite, always get the job done, a joker. Ashley fits my image as a foul-mouthed assassin and feared by most vampires (in this case most wingers). There you go Cole, Blade for you
7. Gary Cahill : Not the most flashy out there, but reliable and solid enough for us. I don't know why but when I think of Gary Cahill, The Punisher is the first name that pops up in my mind
8. Ryan Bertrand : The new kid on the block, still very young and hopefully will have a great career ahead, Cole's sidekick. I think Bertrand is suited to Nightwing, both are young and considered as the sidekicks
9. Frank Lampard : The legend, the handsome one, the flamboyant, the cool guy. Do you know why Frank can keep his body fresh until his mid 30's ? That's because he secretly trains in a cave under his house! The rumour says the cave is full of bats and high tech gadgets. Yeah I think he fits my image of Chelsea's Batman (minus the playboy parts). Eveyone in JLA respect Bruce Wayne just like everyone in Chelsea respect Lampard. He's highly respected by his enemies too, just like the opponents always have a good words for Frank (unless his name is Cesc Fabregas of course)
10. John Obi Mikel : Strong as a brick wall, blessed with physical gifts, the most underrated player in Chelsea yet his role is so vital for the team. So who's the most underrated superhero in JLA yet his role is vital for them? Martian Manhunter is one of it, J'onn Jonz doesn't have any flashy background in his life that makes him always in the spotlight, but he always get the job done for JLA
11. Ramires : The marathon man, the energizer bunny, the man with unlimited stamina, he can run from Tokyo to London in one day, the fastest player in transition. Any idea who's the fastest superhero out there? Well The Flash seems not a bad idea isn't it? Wally West will run around the earth in a couple of minutes without getting tired, though sometimes he goes too fast and lose control of his speed (in this case Ramires with his ball control)
12. Yossi Benayoun : He used to be a bad guy (Liverpool is our enemy! Wholoo attaaaaackkkk!!!) but he's now entering repentance period. Since I don't have any interesting things to write for Benayoun, let's just say he is Loki
13. Oriol Romeu : The young lad from Barcelona, had a good period under AVB, the talent is still there. I have no idea about Romeu too, umm maybe can we call him Robin ?
14. Juan Mata : The Maestro, our best player, loveable chap, blessed with the most glorious beard that ever existed. Any other things to say about Juan Mata? I don't know, since he's pretty much amazing and you all will give better compliments of him than me. I'm struggling the find a superhero with down-to-earth personality, amazing ability, and always on smile-mode, but maybe Cyclops will suit him no? Scott Summers is a down to earth, doesn't like to brag about his abilities, smart, cool, calm and collected on the battlefield just like our little Johnny Kills
15. Victor Moses : The speedy guy, always run tirelessly to track back and helps his fullbacks, not a world beater but still a very good player. Do you know the secret of why Moses always there to help his fullbacks without never ever getting late ? He teleports, while at the same time he carries swords on his back to kill anyone who dare to cross the line. Guess who it is? Nightcrawler!
16. Eden Hazard : The wonderkid, Belgium's posterboy, one of our best player this season, swift as an ice cool, mesmerizing dribbling ability, deadly smiles. So who's he? In terms of being badass I think Daredevil suits him. Eden always strikes me as a silent yet deadly assassin, just like Matt Murdock with the way he fights for justice at Hell's Kitchen, no one can stop the man without fear. He did kick a little boy at once, mistaking the boy as Kingpin's thugs
17. Oscar : Another wonderkid, Brazil's #10, great talent, never a winger yet Mr Interim suggests otherwise, not yet liven up to his potential but he'll be one of the best in the future. He receives Drogba's legendary number. Just like Hal Jordan when he discovered Abin Sur's crashed plane and given the green lantern ring. Thus the legend of Green Lantern began, just like the legend of Oscar began when he was given Drogba's legendary number "In brightest day, in blackest night. No evil shall escape my sight. Let all who worship evil's might. Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!" says Oscar when he beats the greatest Sinestro out there, Gianluigi Buffon
18. Marko Marin : Who is this guy? A legend or probably a MYTH????? So who's the most inactive superhero out there but everyone knows that he's actually exist? Well Atom Man probably
19. Fernando Torres : Was once the best striker on the world pretty much declined since then, living on past glories, too dependent on his pace. So let's say Torres is Whizzer? A declined superhero (or in this case retired) who's also too dependent on his pace
20. Demba Ba : Solid, reliable, a highly paid mercenary, hasn't found his best in here yet but still a decent striker. You don't want to mess with Ba, because he rarely misses with his shots, and he's able to take down superhero simultaneously at once. Beware.. The Deathstroke!
21. Rafael Benitez : Mr Interim which superheroes do you want as your poster? No no you're too bad for superheroes, you were once our most bitter enemy but at some point we have to accept you as our allies, just like when at one time Superman had to accept Lex Luthor as his allies
1) Didier Drogba : Strong, always bully the oppositions until submission, he can wreck any defense singlehandedly when on fire. So guess what? Drogba always carrying a Mjolnir hammer in his hands, no one can touch it apart from Didier, when the defense get though just swing the hammer! And all will go down to ashes! So long Thor.. You will never be forgotten, Munich is still in recovery mode after your last Mjolnir strike destroy ze Germans
2) Jose Mourinho : Arrogant, cocky, controversial, genius. Say hello to Tony Stark! His last research at Madrid didn't go well since his employers are busy fighting each other. But when he's back in London he will create new armors for our players, and make us wins the civil war againt the pro-Manchesters-registration side. The prospect of having Iron Man as our manager is really good isn't it? ;)
3) Paulo Ferreira : Enough said. His smile alone is enough to consider him as Captain Marvel
So here's my lists of Chelsea players as superheroes. Disagree? You have your own choice? Want to remind me that Paulo is more than Captain Marvel? Or Loki is too good for the hobo? Or Torres is more than Whizzer? Good, let's put your perspective on the comments section, since I guess many of us are superheroes fans (rules: you can put our players as a supervillain or superhero, but it's must be either from DC or Marvel)