I've contacted @davidluiz_4 and apologized for what happened during the match. It was an impulse reaction that shouldn't have happened.— Sergio Aguero (@aguerosergiokun) April 16, 2013
The magic of David Luiz is contagious.
Thank you @aguerosergiokun for a demonstration of character. We get to know great man and athletes this way.— David Luiz (@DavidLuiz_4) April 16, 2013
Sure, there might be a few inadvertent elbows carelessly dangled about, not to mention funny step-overs, hair-raising moments of extravagance, and global pandemics of big hair and people putting their hands behind their back. But there would be no more wars.
You might think this is an outrageous claim, but you'd be wrong. Let's examine today's evidence for example. Sergio Aguero's response to a fairly standard tackle (a possible foul perhaps, as the Chelsea defender did play the man rather than the ball - i.e. obstruction) was a shocking two-footed, full-bodyweight stamp on the nearest exposed part of David Luiz's body as he was lying on the ground (Rectum? Damn nearly killed 'um!).
After examining the stud pattern of Aguero's boots on his flesh, David Luiz responded not with a hellfire of Scud missiles. Lesser men would be likely to engage in wanton destruction of all things Kun but not David Luiz. Instead, clad in the finest shimmering samite, David Luiz, voice like a thousand angelic choruses, responded thusly:
Aguero is a great player and I think he needs to be honest with himself and say, 'I don't like to do bad tackles, I don't like to do that'. I forgive everyone in my life, people are happy when Aguero is scoring goals, doing things in the game. Many people have said to me, 'Sorry this is not me and not good for the football'. Many kids see the game, watch the game and want to see good things and not bad things.
Good things. David Luiz is good things.
Of course, I would apologise to everyone. I want just to show people good things – football is beautiful when you play games like that. Both teams tried to win, both created opportunities and tried good things.
Sometimes in the games people have five seconds, be angry and do things you don't like to do. I think that. I never saw Agüero do bad tackles on other players. I think it was five-second angry and I forgive him.
P.S.: "five-second angry" is my new favorite phrase. We're all familiar with the five-second angry; we see it in the comments all the time, we see it on the roads, we see it on TV, we see it in every day life. We have a lot to learn from Sideshow, my fellow plebs.