Chelsea vs. Manchester United, FA Cup: a preview, of sorts

Winner; Loser - Alex Livesey

Hope is the worst.

At times in the past 48 hours, I've been hopeful. H is for hopeful. H is for Hazard, Eden Hazard. I've been hopeful.

Hope is the worst.

I've also been sad or even angry - not too much, but certainly not too little - just the right amount, I feel. Other times, like when the Doctor Who theme song kicked in or when I read page 830 of A Storm of Swords, I've been happy. But mostly, I've just been catatonic. Beaten.

Resigned.

I give up. I yield. Take the last of my cares, Interim Harpy. They're all yours. Take them. Stuff them down your gaping maw and regurgitate them along with your daily cud. Chew them over for a bit; I bet they're tasty. After all, I've poured my heart and soul into them. But now they're yours and I'm just an empty vessel.

Void.

Oh, look, another match coming up.

The opposition played a strong lineup away to a crap team on Saturday, despite a comfortable lead and a league title that's 99% assured. We played a weak lineup away to a crap team on Saturday, despite a precarious lead and a Champions League spot that's 1% assured.

Masterplan.

Now we shall unleash the full power of Eden Hazard and Juan Mata. Now we shall see who has the last laugh. Now we shall tame the Dark Arts. Now we shall.

Hope is the worst.

Date/Time: Monday, April 1, 12:30 BST; 7:30 A.M. EDT; 5:00 P.M. IST

Venue: Stamford Bridge, SW6

TV Information: ITV 1 (UK); Fox Soccer (USA); ESPN HD (India)

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