That's precisely what we received today Adam Shergold decided to compile the first of what will no doubt be some 2,000 Chelsea clear-out articles the Mail will produce from now until July 1. I know you, like me, absolutely cannot wait to read each and every one of these incisive, well-thought pieces.
Shergold stated quite a bit of obvious in the article, bringing to light such shocking revelations as Florent Malouda, Yossi Benayoung, Paulo Ferreira and Hilario being dead-on to leave the club when their contracts expire in the summer. This is the kind of watchdog journalism we've come to expect from the British press.
He also, to no surprise, believes Frank Lampard will be shipping out - a 9/10 chance of leaving, sayeth Shergold. Speaking of this quintet - it's kind of wild to think that they all could move on in the offseason with the club receiving nothing ("Nann" for those who are partial to Trick Daddy) in the way of monetary supplement for their departure. That Benayoun transfer looks more and more egregious by the day.
Anyway. The real head-turning part of Shergold's story pertains to Fernando Torres. No surprise there.
Shergold is convinced the Spanish striker will be living Chelsea after the season (8/10 on the chance scale), which, by all accounts, isn't that big a leap. What is, however, is Shergold evaluation of Torres.
Twenty-five million sterling. Wait, say that again. Yes, £25 million.
[Fun] me. What is this guy inhaling?
I don't fancy myself an expert on the transfer market but suggesting a striker with a return more disappointing than Mason Betha is going to bring Chelsea around half the initial investment is ludicrous. Now, I have no clue how much Torres could fetch on the open market (well, I may) but I betting you guys do. That's why WAGNH is asking you to vote in the poll below so we can actually get an accurate portrayal of our tortured Spaniard's actual value. Be honest, be ruthless - we need to know.
Vote or die.