Another match, another poor performance from Torres - this is becoming a norm for the Chelsea faithful that decide to tune in when buzz-cut wielding striker puts on blue for the London Club. Time after time, Torres has exceeded expectations as to how woeful and how incompetent he can be on the pitch. Fernando cooks up spirited debates on online forums after almost every one of his performances, and he seems to relish giving his apologists an impossible task; in my opinion defending Torres' ineptitude is similar to defending the constant diving by Suarez, Bale and, well... Torres.
Torres unsurprisingly started against Prague, as he is the only recognizable striker available for Chelsea in the Europa league (YAY!). He started out pretty well, making good runs and creating some space for other players. I almost persuaded myself into saying the real Torres was back (Not really, no) but then he demonstrably reasserted his claim as the worst transfer flop in history with his tame pass to the opponent's keeper. Not too long after, he impressed even the most ardent Torres hater with his astonishing miss from a Mata cross. Some might say that he was unlucky not to put the ball in an open net but, as dojothecat explained, he was simply inept.
Torres might well just be the weakest striker I've ever seen on a top-team; his mind resembles that of a five year old Dolphin and he can hold-up the ball as proficiently as a menstruating walrus. It's wondrous that he doesn't get injured. Ever. That's a good thing for Chelsea, of course, but it's certainly weird. How is he so weak and yet never gets injured? Anyway, the point is he's not very good.
If there was any positive to take from the Thursday night match, it was that Torres was mobile throughout the fixture. He was always knockin' about (In Karl Pilkington's voice). He was trying his best, but it wasn't working out for him. Funnily, my opinion on Torres always varies; sometimes I think he should try more but, when he actually does try more, I hate him for his ineffectiveness. Maybe he should subscribe to Homer's philosophy - "Kids, you tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."
All in all, that performance yesterday was as good a Torres performance you can expect. I've attached a video of all his perceived touches. If I had to rate him, I'd give him a 3 out of 10, because I'm kind and generous. Please enjoy on the video one of my favourite pieces, Transcendental Etude no.4 (1851 ver.) "Mazeppa".
I know I was harsh on Torres, but he hardly ever gets criticized. Someone had to say that he wasn't very good, or it would have never been known by Torres-lovers, who are excessive in number (How do you use the sarcasm font?). I hope you guys understand.
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