Fernando Torres, Destroyer of Worlds

Scott Heavey

When Chelsea emerged from the Czech Republic with a 1-0, Oscar-powered win over Sparta Prague, the match felt rather profoundly uneventful. Yes, the Blues were in position to qualify for the next round of the Europa League, but a) they were already in a position to qualify, because they're Chelsea and they were playing Sparta Prague and b) not that many people care about the Europa League anyway.

It was about as meaningless a match as a match could be... or so we all figured.

1,500 miles east of Moscow, a million-strong city was barely waking up when an unidentified object blazed through the contrail-ridden morning sky, its fiery path culminating in a series of explosions:

The damage was significant, with hundreds injured by broken glass caused by the shockwave. Initial reports suggested that the object was a 10-ton meteor breaking up at an altitude, but the Russian Federal Space Agency, working in tandem with the ESA and NASA, has now tracked the source of the explosion to a projectile launched from Earth.

And we thought Fernando Torres didn't do anything interesting yesterday.

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