If you're happy and you know it... troll some friends?

Clive Rose

Jose unleashes another quote destined to be a modern classic.

Chelsea put together arguably their best performance of the season on Sunday, playing Liverpool off the park (especially in the first half) and securing a momentous 2-1 victory that keeps us well in what's increasingly looking like a three-team title race.  It was our first league win over the Reds in over three years.

Understandably, everyone is very happy.  Eden Hazard scored for the second game running.  A striker scored a goal, too!  David Luiz played midfield and it wasn't a complete disaster; he even got a post-match hug from Mourinho live on TV despite being the second player in as many matches to pick up a fifth yellow card of the domestic season.  Willian was once again justifying his transfer fee, while Fernando "Almost" Torres almost scored a goal for the ages.  Almost!

Jose Mourinho, whose unbeaten streak at Stamford Bridge in the Premier League reached 70 matches, was in equally joyous mood.  He praised the team's "big win" over a "big opponent" in a "big match" and reserved special praise for 600-match man, captain, legend John Terry , Mikel who played despite the flu, and of course, the "kid" at play in the Garden of Eden:

"The kid is giving everything with a fantastic mentality. He's changing because now he understands responsibilities, it's not just about getting the ball and playing like you are 13 or 14 in the street, there are other ingredients to play at this level."

"He has already eight goals in the first phase of the season, playing in the position he plays where he has defensive responsibilities, scoring only one penalty out of the eight goals, he's been more objective and that's important."

-Jose Mourinho; source: Chelsea FC

A happy Mourinho however is also a mischievous Mourinho.  When asked about the Azpilicueta - Suarez - Eto'o incident, he just couldn't resist having a bit of fun.  You might want to get your swimsuits out for this one.

"Eto’o comes in and it looks like somebody shot him (Suarez) in the back. For me that is a clear yellow card."

"He’s doing an acrobatic swimming-pool jump to try to get the penalty because he’s so clever he knows he’s in the penalty area with the Liverpool supporters behind."

"If a Chelsea player did that, I’d tell them not to do it."

-Jose Mourinho; source: Mail

I lost count of the number of stories that led with that quote; that noise you heard earlier was the red half of the city of Liverpool erupting in anger.  NORAD even repurposed their Santa tracker to let curious bystanders follow the anguished cries of unfairness as they echoed 'round the world.  Of course, because Chelsea won the match, little has been made of Webb's decisions that favored Liverpool (Lucas Leiva - Hazard incident, anyone?).  But I think if there's one thing that fans of every team can agree on, it's that the referee is always biased against them.  Joy to the world!

One thing I should point out, even if you believe Eto'o fouled Suarez: according to the Laws of the Game, penalties should not be given for fouls that would normally result in indirect free-kicks.  Hey, you know what's an example of such a foul? Obstruction!  Rules are a bitch, ain't they?

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