If you've spent any decent amount of time on the Internet - and since you're reading this thing, chances are that you have - you're probably familiar with the "In Soviet Russia..." meme (a.k.a. the Russian Reversal). Which was just a stupid joke back in the 80s, but the Internet does have this wonderful habit of taking stupid things and making them
So if we were to apply this meme to the Eto'o situation, it might go a little something like ... "In Mourinho's dreams, Eto'o scores for fun. In Soviet Russia, [fun]." As quoted by Sky Sports:
"The player I know, the professional I know...what happened in Russia in the last two-and-a-half years I didn't know."
What happens in Russia, stays in Russia.
"Normally when a top player is one of the top players in Europe and then goes to Anzhi the pressure goes down, the motivation and physical condition and sharpness goes down."
"Now he's back in top European football and needs a bit of time to find that sharpness. [...] But the Premier League is a different picture. So give him a little bit of time."
If there's one thing we're familiar with, it is giving strikers plenty of time. (Or time on loan, in one case - about which Mourinho has no regrets.) And with Torres injured, Eto'o should have at least a couple more matches to find some goalscoring form.
"He must be a more static player, a pure number nine. Players have to adapt to their age, potential and condition."
Unless something crazy happens, such as Demba Ba staying onside and not falling down with every second step.