Eden Hazard: A troll from the womb

Gotcha suckkas! - Shaun Botterill

Remember how Hazard trolled us all during the last transfer market? Turns out it was not his first time trolling those expecting his arrival.

"MONDAY!!! He said Monday, Thierry. Thierry! Wake up! He said Monday!" Carine sat up quickly, her eyes wide open. She wiped away beads of sweats hanging from her forehead before shaking her husband out of a deep sleep. "Get up, you lazy head. Get up!"

Thierry, still half asleep, turned slowly from his side of the bed. "Wha... Carine, are you okay? What it is?" he mumbled as he wiped his eyes with both hands.

"He said Monday," Carine repeated impatiently, "and I think he is serious this time."

"Oh..." Thierry murmured with a slight disappointment. He knew exactly what she was talking about. He let off a sigh, without even trying to hide the frustration this time, and threw a glance at the clock: 2:30 a.m. 'Are you friggin' serious?' he thought to himself. But he can't be too mad at her. After all, she is carrying their first child, due in a few weeks or so. "Okay, tell me about it," he said after giving her a soft kiss on her cheek. He was not listening to her though. He didn't need to; he'd heard it all before.

It started on the Christmas night, a little more than three weeks before the baby's due date. That dream. And that creature! Just as she did this night, Carine woke Thierry up in the wee hours of the morning to inform him that she had had a very vivid dream! A dream, she recounted with wonder in her eyes, in which she was walking around in this beautiful garden with tall trees and blue ponds. When she came upon an apple tree, she was greeted by a snake who started talking to her about the child she's carrying. YES, A TALKING SNAKE FFS!!! Long story short, the snake assured her that the baby was coming early. On the 27th of December to be specific.

Carine and her superstitious mother were totally thrilled. It was all they could talk about and prepared for the hospital on that day. And... you guessed it: Nothing happened. That night, she had the same dream: the same garden, the same snake; this time the snake did nothing but laugh his non-existent butt off! All Thierry could do was shook his head. He knew his wife wasn't a credulous person, but he also knew that carrying a little human inside your belly for more than 8 months could mess with your sensibilities.

And there was also another dream in which that little devil showed Carine a pink football when she asked him about the sex of the baby. Okay, football is a boy thing, but pink? It started a big debate within the extended family. Thierry's side of the family wanted a boy and used the snake's sign as a proof. Carine's side wanted a girl and argued the 'pink football' meant the baby was going to be a football playing girl just like her mom. Heated arguments and fights followed. It was crazy but, Thierry felt as if someone was intentionally messing with his family.

"... and then he said, 'The baby is coming on Monday.' Thierry! Are you even listening?!"

Carine's raised voice suddenly snapped Thierry back to life. "Oh... umm.. yeah. Good. Really.. ah.. good." he muttered. It was a Friday, January 4th 1991, still fifteen days away from the baby's official due date. Thierry fell silent as it slowly set in. "Monday? But which Monday though..." he whispered to himself.

January 7th, 1991 (Monday)

IT'S A BOYYYYY!!!!

Thierry was tearing up as he held his first born son. Carine was soundly asleep on the hospital bed after a tough labor. They had not talked about a name for baby, but Thierry knew what it would be. Along with enormous joy, Thierry also felt a sense of relief. No more dreams, and that stupid snake! Just as that thought crossed Thierry's mind, little Eden Hazard let out a soft cry. Thierry looked down at his new born and he could swear he saw the baby winked at him.

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