These are quotes that Rafa Benitez said. Actual, real-life quotes:
If you go outside and it's snowing and you fall down, they say, "Ah, he fell down". But the reality is, it's snowing, which makes it slippery and makes you fall down.
So if you analyse all the managers [at Chelsea], how many had a pre-season here? Not me. How many managers have spent massive money here? Not me. How many managers have played in Japan in the middle of the season and have some players injured and some at the African Nations? Only me.
Hey Rafa. If you go outside it's snowing and you fall down, do you think you fell down because it was snowing or because you failed to notice Mohamed Diame bearing down on you with a [funning] steamroller? You were given the Champions of Europe to play with, two trophies on a plate and you're complaining about how difficult it is that you had to go to Japan to lose to Corinthians?
Did Roberto di Matteo have a preseason? No. He won the Champions League anyway. Injuries? How about being forced into using Jose Bosingwa as a centre back at the Camp Nou because Gary Cahill and David Luiz were hurt and John Terry had been sent off. Cup of Nations? You've lost John Obi Mikel and Victor Moses, not Michael Essien and Didier Drogba.
If you had any spine at all you'd acknowledge that blaming everyone else for Chelsea's problems while you'd be only too happy to take credit if we won anything is rank hypocrisy. You'd recognise that losing to West Ham was your fault. That losing to Corinthians was your fault. That alienating the fans was your fault. That the embarrassing defeat at home to QPR was your fault. That failing to take advantage of the fact that the League Cup was within your grasp was your fault.
When all's said and done, Benitez's reign at Chelsea will be best summed up in two words: Blundering cowardice.