Stupid rumor of the day: Edinson Cavani can be ours for only £35 million and £150K per week

VERONA, ITALY - SEPTEMBER 21: Edison Cavani of Napoli in action during the Serie A match between AC Chievo Verona and SSC Napoli at Stadio Marc'Antonio Bentegodi on September 21, 2011 in Verona, Italy. (Photo by Dino Panato/Getty Images)

The Daily Mail are at it again. After all the Oscar/Schurrle news that left them in Sky Sport's dust, they must have felt obligated to jump back in the deep end. The result? I guess we're now after Edinson Cavani. Let's break this one down. Is Cavani available? Hmm...

Cavani, who can leave Napoli for £35million, is one of the options being considered by Chelsea manager Roberto Di Matteo

Well, I doubt this true at all. Beyond the fact that this seems like a figure well below what they could get for one of the hottest properties in Europe, Napoli don't seem very excited about the prospect of selling their best player anyway. That's likely crap. Next:

The Uruguay striker’s representatives will tell the London club he wants a pay deal worth £150,000 a week

Ok then. So without a source, we now know not what Cavani's representatives are asking, but what they will be asking after Chelsea decide to open the negotiations that haven't even started yet. Any other fun facts? But of course...

Once the capture of attacking midfielder Oscar is complete, the Blues will look to complete two more deals — expected to be a centre forward and a right back — before the transfer window closes

Well guys, we've been linked to about a thousand other wingers with some pretty reliable reports, so I doubt you nailed our remaining targets. Finally:

Chelsea are also exploring moves for Atletico Madrid striker Radamel Falcao and Real Madrid forward Gonzalo Higuain.

Here's my take at their thinking for this comment: Well, just in case Cavani doesn't float your boat we'll namedrop another pair of massively successful strikers. This ought to work up enough buzz that we can run with a "Di Matteo plans to drop Torres" story on Thursday if he doesn't score at least 77 goals against Sounders FC. Buzz up. Traffic up. Future stories written. Credibility no worse for the wear (after all, they're already know as the Daily Fail).

This one sounds like a winner to me! Cavani is ours!

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