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A level headed discussion on Hulk. (Please?)

So about 4 days after the Hazard saga ended with his declaration that he would be joing the champions of Europe (holy crap that's us!!) Chelsea fans were thrown into the midst of yet another transfer saga that would end up eclipsing Hazard's. Giovanni de Souza aka Hulk is being held onto by Porto FC but "allegedly" chased by our CFC. Early on there were reports of an agreed deal and a twitter account to his name thanking Chelsea fans. While the days passed our sure thing seemed less sure as reports of the gap in transfer fee was growing with each headline. The longer his name has been out there, the stronger the feelings, pro and con, for his arrival became. I will taint this post by saying I personally hope he does join CFC. But after the jump I will list the pros, cons, why it could happen and why it wouldn't happen. Afterwards we can have a nice discussion about how badly we want him or how tired we are of all the posts. Also there are no Euro games on today so we can brace for the wave of bogus and nonsensical transfer rumors together.

So first let me list the cons that I have read so far. If I miss any I'm sure there will be people out there (Graham and Kevin) who will round out the list:

Price- Hulk's buyout is €100 mil which helps Pinto dig for more money

Pinto- The man had his 2 best managers pillaged by CFC and is notorious for demanding more money

Ramieres- The player's POY Ramieres plays the RW and playe dit well lest season. His engine and pace made him a target during our defensive exhibitions and his constancy was one of the few bright lights during the last days of the AVB era. Many people don't see him moving to the CM position in our 4-2-3-1 and even I wouldn't want a Hulk move if it moves Rambo to RB. That being said I feel that he wouldn't suffer in a rotational squad role

We have 2 pressing needs and neither are RW- Currently Chelsea's squad feature one out of positin RB and a handful of CM only one of which looks like a full season first team option. I personally can't stand MRLSH. While he is good defensively and makes nice runs to add width to the attack his passes aren't clinical enough and his shoting is asinine and at best desperately woeful. For me his 2 best goals were the equalizers in the first Man City fixture, which thanks to wonderful work by Sturridge was a goal that had no right to do anything but go in, and then the cracker vs Benfica, which could've been made into an easy assist by a through ball to his right. Those two aside most of my memories of Raul are of shots 10 yards outside the box finding people 20 rows above the goal

Age- Hulk is 25. There are younger players available. Also while 25 may not seem old with the likes of Cole, Terry and Lampard leading the way to a cup double Hulk's traits are the kind that old age diminishes the quickest, speed and strength.

FFP- I added this for those who have yet to read Graham's amazing analysis of our financial situation. I will sum his lengthy yet compelling post into a simple "trust me, this ain't an issue."

Now time for the pros of buying Hulk

We finished 6th in the league- While late goals and a high lined defense (AVB era) were our major issues the most obvious failing was lack of inventing in attack. With Mata gaining a shiny new playmaking partner in the young Eden Hazard and Marko Marin adding playmaking depth we will certainly be better in that area. But a starter and a squad player are not enough to lift a team from 6th to first. We need offense, and we need targets for our playmakers, Mata, Hazard and whatever deep lying playmaker I believe we could still get with Hulk and an RB. With the losses we have sustained on offense and the likes of the Manchester squad's offensive juggernauts we can't stop at just 3 offensive additions. When I started this post I limited myself to only 2 comic book references and here is the first. After embarrassing defeats to both Manchester clubs Liverpool, Arsenal and Newcastle this team needs to have the mentality that they are the Avengers for next season (I know it was forced and shameless but there will only be two so bear with me)

The words we never wanted to hear- I had to write this one last because I knew I'd end up watching his highlights for the next hour. Drogba has left the squad to move on to greener (it's a pun, American money is green. This could also do: $£€¥) pastures. A much deserved ending salary for one of the greatest men in sports on and off the field. And while it hurts to lose a legend it sucks to lose such a powerful offensive threat. Chelsea are now lacking the player who scores the kind of goals where there are 3 defenders on the floor bruised and wondering how a blue freight train found its way on the pitch. Hulk is one of a max of 6 players in the world who can fill that.

New tactics vs Chelsea- I feel that with our success of defensive football and improvements in our offensive, we will see more teams park the buss on us. What we need is what Barca were missing with david villa's absence, someone who can score from outside the box. While David Villa does it with bend Hulk can do it with our final comic book reference, a left footed HULK SMASHHHH

He isn't entirely as selfish as we believe- I'm not going to say he isn't selfish, but only two assists for club and country this year doesn't tell the whole story. He is a great crosser and if you saw the Brazil Argentina goalfest he showed skill in crossing and passing on free kicks. Hulk takes his shots and his power means he believes he can score from deeper positions then where most people try but for Brazil, when he has had a wealth of targets he has shown a passing prowess.

Now a concise explanation on why his arrival wouldn't happen

Pinto is insane, third party ownership, he is happy at Porto, he already has a spot on Brazil's Olympic team (which was his end game) Chelsea's other needs, price, Victor Mosses and Pinto is bat shit insane

Why it could happen

Need for offense, ridiculous money from UCL, new tv deal, a potential sale of FloMo and the brand new deal with Delta Airlines, he wants Chelsea, he wants better competition, wages and exposure than Portugesse Liga can offer, Roman wants to revitalize the squad 2 moves in the front 4 won't cut it, losses of Drogba, Anelka, Kalou and Malouda since last summer, Sturridge's attitude and Torres's complex situation

Bonus Why I need it to happen- I live in Orlando and work at Universal's Islands of Adventure. If you like theme parks and have never been I suggest going very soon. While Harry Potter has become the main attraction, before the British invasion, the concensous favorite roller coaster was in Marvel Island. It was of course the heart pounding Incredible Hulk ride. The day that Hulk is officially a blue I will go to United Soccer Way in the Florida mall, spen $115.99 on an authentic customized Chelsea jersey with Hulk's name and number and get a picture of me on that ride with that shirt. I have the money already saved

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