Like some sort of collective Tyler Durden, the Premier League is ready to unleash Project Mayhem on a Chelsea sleeping on the other side of the world. I am Jack's divided attentions and confused priorities.
Entering Matchday 17, Manchester United hold a comfortable lead of six and ten points, respectively, over second place Manchester City and third place Chelsea. Both Manchesters will be in action today: City away to Newcastle in the early game (7:45 A.M. EST); United home to Sunderland in one of the 10 A.M. EST kickoffs. Did you know that United have scored 40 goals already this season? That's ten (10!) more than the next highest and on pace for 95 - a potentially serious challenge on Chelsea's record of 103. Booooooooooooo...
Snapping on the heels of Chelsea are Everton, Tottenham, and West Bromwich Albion. While the latter two don't play until Sunday, Everton has the unenviable task today of traveling to take on Stoke City - a place from where no visiting team has emerged with more than one point yet this season. Coincidentally enough, Everton are the only other team in the Premier League who remain undefeated at home.
Elsewhere, Liverpool will look to solidify their spot in the (teehee) top half of the table as they host Aston Villa, while two likable but quite bad and uninteresting teams in Norwich City and Wigan Athletic will battle it out for something. Also, there will be a London "derby" (another one!) between Fulham and QPR. I think it'd be amazing if Redknapp's side managed to make it through whole season winless. And by amazing I mean abso-freaking-lutely hilarious. Come on you
sexy Berbatovs Fulham!