West Ham United vs. Chelsea: The drinking game

DRINK. NOW. - Christopher Lee

Chelsea are playing a match against West Ham United in something like eleven hours. Matches haven't been very fun of late -- our last win in the Premier League was more than a month ago -- so we decided to change the preview format up a little bit. And by that I mean write down the rules of a West Ham vs. Chelsea drinking game, for Chelsea fans. Here goes.

Drink when...

  • Chelsea 'reset' an attack.
  • Fernando Torres fails to shoot when given the opportunity in the box. If he does take a shot, drink anyway.
  • The defensive players exchange eight or more passes in a row.
  • Aimless Chelsea cross. Double if from Cesar Azpilicueta.
  • You see a closeup of Benitez, Roman Abramovich, or Bolo Zenden.

...and when you hear...

  • 'Rafa' without 'Benitez'
  • 'Abramovich'
  • 'Organised'
  • About Andy Carroll's transfer fee.
  • About Fernando Torres' transfer fee.

Finish your drink when...

  • Chelsea concede.
  • A non-Torres attacking player is taken off for a defensive one while the team needs goals.

Special events

  • 16th minute: Applause. Then drink.
  • Half time: Drink if Chelsea haven't had a significant scoring opportunity. Finish drink if neither team has had a significant scoring opportunity.
  • Full time: Finish your drink. If final score 0-0, pour two more drinks; finish them too.

Stop drinking if...

  • You see Marko Marin. He is a mythical creature and does not actually exist. Clearly you have had too much to drink.

* * *

Date/Time: Saturday, December 1st. 12:45 pm GMT, 7:45 am EST, 6:15 pm IST.

Venue: Upton Park, London.

TV information: Sky Sports 2 (UK), ESPN 2 (USA), ESPN (India).

Watch online: ESPN 3 (USA).

Ceterum censeo Torrentem delendam esse.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9353_tracker