Chelsea are playing a match against West Ham United in something like eleven hours. Matches haven't been very fun of late -- our last win in the Premier League was more than a month ago -- so we decided to change the preview format up a little bit. And by that I mean write down the rules of a West Ham vs. Chelsea drinking game, for Chelsea fans. Here goes.
- Chelsea 'reset' an attack.
- Fernando Torres fails to shoot when given the opportunity in the box. If he does take a shot, drink anyway.
- The defensive players exchange eight or more passes in a row.
- Aimless Chelsea cross. Double if from Cesar Azpilicueta.
- You see a closeup of Benitez, Roman Abramovich, or Bolo Zenden.
...and when you hear...
- 'Rafa' without 'Benitez'
- About Andy Carroll's transfer fee.
- About Fernando Torres' transfer fee.
Finish your drink when...
- Chelsea concede.
- A non-Torres attacking player is taken off for a defensive one while the team needs goals.
- 16th minute: Applause. Then drink.
- Half time: Drink if Chelsea haven't had a significant scoring opportunity. Finish drink if neither team has had a significant scoring opportunity.
- Full time: Finish your drink. If final score 0-0, pour two more drinks; finish them too.
Stop drinking if...
- You see Marko Marin. He is a mythical creature and does not actually exist. Clearly you have had too much to drink.
* * *
Date/Time: Saturday, December 1st. 12:45 pm GMT, 7:45 am EST, 6:15 pm IST.
Venue: Upton Park, London.
TV information: Sky Sports 2 (UK), ESPN 2 (USA), ESPN (India).
Watch online: ESPN 3 (USA).
Ceterum censeo Torrentem delendam esse.