What sorcery is this? Premier League matches midweek, on a Tuesday? Is it Christmas already?
Kicking off at 45 past the hour, it's Sunderland hosting QPR. These two have a combined two wins in 25, zero of which are by QPR. Amazing. Luckily for them, Harry Redknapp is here to "do a Spurs" on them. Or is it to "do a Portsmouth" on them? I always confuse this.
At the top of the hour - why are these matches staggered 15 minutes? - Aston Villa's merry band of youngsters and Belgians will host Reading. These two have a combined THREE wins in 25. Take THAT, Sunderland & QPR!
If you're keeping track, that's four of the bottom five and combined goal differential of negative-42 playing today. Best league in the world!