Scott Parker? This is getting out of hand

Scott-Parker-006
Just no

You simply cannot beat the transfer window for laughs.

Michael Essien's apparent season-ending knee injury - I say apparent because we know nothing for certain yet - has sent the tabloids into a frenzy. It's to be expected, really. We've been linked with every midfielder in the known world, including Scott fucking Parker.

I say fucking because I can't stand this man. Football Writers' Player of the Year? Rubbish. Plus, you know, Scotty always seems to go out looking for a fight against us. As if our players had something to do with his egregious year and a half at the club. Drop the shameless vendetta guy.

Anyway. Sunday's People says not only are we looking at Parker now, we considered him earlier in the summer, even before the injury to Essien. Sure.

Sky Bet has also seen odds halved on a Parker move to Chelsea. Whatever.

You know what, I hear Jiri Jarosik is looking for a part-time gig. Why not target him? Or Alexey Smertin. Better yet, Maniche. MAAAANICHE.

Laughable. Petition to keep Scott Parker away from Stamford Bridge. Who's with me?

Sidenote: If Parker does indeed join Chelsea, feel free to blame me. I reacted this same way the first time we were linked with Yossi.

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Join We Ain't Got No History

You must be a member of We Ain't Got No History to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at We Ain't Got No History. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9353_tracker