You want a Romelu Lukaku update? Of course you do. Even better, it's a Romelu Lukaku update that's been Google translated from Dutch, so you know that it's super-reliable:
Chelsea? They have a coach first. You first need a motorcycle before you can pour in oil. And the other clubs were only exploratory talks. As the cards lie now, Lukaku on June 24 will start training with Anderlecht.
Anderlecht away will not Romelu. Anderlecht if he can keep life, then they will not hesitate long. But they do want to avoid a costly replacement last August to attract.
-Christophe Hentrotay, Lukaku's agent. Source: BelgiumSoccer.be
My Google-translated-English to English version of this is:
Chelsea need a coach before any deal can be made. Without a motorcycle, you can't pour in the oil. Chelsea are the only club to have been in advanced negotiations for Lukaku, but as things stand, he will begin pre-season training with Anderlecht on June 24th.
Anderlecht will sell Lukaku if there is a good deal (ed note: this is a guess!). However, they can't leave it too late in the offseason or they'll have no replacement.
In my fairly short time blogging about this sort of thing, I've noticed that agents almost never have good things (from our perspectives) to say. They just say vaguely negative things and are generally annoying. All that said, Hentroty is right - Chelsea must have a manager before Lukaku can commit to signing a deal with us, and Anderlecht need to know fairly soon what's going to happen in order to set up their season properly.
At least we sound like front runners once our managerial situation is sorted out, but the longer this takes, the more likely it is that someone else drops in and sabotages the deal. Where on earth is Guus Hiddink? Honestly, I might take Mark Hughes right now if it made this silliness end any faster*.