For reason unknown, this game was not televised live. Even though there clearly were cameras at the ground, as it was shown later on Chelsea TV.
In any case, since the Chelsea Radio commentary team's idea of good commentary is to blather on randomly in between disjointed shouts of excitedness (blather, blather, blather, LUKAKU SHOT - he did well there, blather, blather, blather), I've decided to do a running minute-by-minute account of the replay of the match as just shown on Chelsea TV.
Read on to experience this match through my bias & limited abilities of conveying action and narrative. In a sense, it'll be like watching the radio! Huh?!
Preamble - The 3rd strip is in action tonight. It's much nicer live than on pictures, unlike the away kit. AVB poses on the sideline in a stylish black trench, complete with epaulets and an upturner collar. Boss.
2min - Alex iffy backpass to Turnbull. Goalkeeper clears well.
3min - Malouda nice run and through ball in the left channel to Lukaku. Powerful first time shot from the Beastly Belgian, into the sidenetting.
5min - Chelsea have had the better of it for the first 5 min, but nothing too exciting is happening.
5min - Very nice Romeu tackle to launch a counter through Kalou & Malouda. Those two combine for expected (non-)result.
6min - Saha shot literally out of nowhere. I blinked and missed how he even got the ball. Fantastic save by Turnbull. Everton in the ascendancy for a minute.
7min - McEachran gives the ball away and keeps the pressure on Chelsea, but then Everton show no imagination and we take control.
8min - McEachran with a nice pass, but Lukaku messes it up while Malouda was making a good run.
9min - Romeu very comfortable & composed, while the Everton players chase the ball around.
9min - Kalou wins a free kick in midfield, but it's wasted very badly and gifts a shot to Saha. Turnbull produces a decent save, gives up a big rebound, but no one there to take advantage for Everton.
10min - Josh gives ball away again after some good play out of the back between Romeu and David Luiz
11min - Everton keeps the ball, does nothing, then Phil Neville crosses for absolutely nobody. Turnbull with an easy catch, Neville catching some flak from the crowd and the announcers.
11min - Josh fails to pick out Anelka's good run down the right channel. Everton's ball, but we get it back quickly.
12min - We're trying lots of little dinks & flicks in the middle, usually resulting in a giveaway. Lukaku the latest culprit.
12min - Alex snuffs out the counter with an excellent interception.
13min - Bertrand does well to cover and tries to shield a long ball out of play...before Phil Neville takes him out with a silly challenge. No card.
14min - Nice turn & play by Anelka, but Lukaku loses the ball. Next attack through Anelka again and his cross is cleared for a corner.
15min - Malouda takes two corners in quick succession; nothing doing at all from either but the ball is still ours.
16min - Attack through Josh and Anelka who popped up on the left this time.
16min PENALTY - The attack ends in a McEachran shot that is stopped. The rebound comes back out to him and as he attempt to control the ball he's taken out unceremoniously by Heitinga
17min PENALTY MISS - Anelka misses. It's his usual lackadaisical run-up and he aims it juuust wide of the post. It looked much worse due to his runup and because he didn't blast it, but he did not miss by much. Still, a miss is a miss, and that should've been 1-0 for the Good Guys.
18min - Good Everton attack, Bilyaletdinov missing an easy header at the far post. Ivanovic did not seem to be aware of the Everton player behind him at all.
18min - Through ball for Anelka who's barged over. Clear foul/barge, but maybe juust outside the penalty area. Still, no foul given at all. A penalty may have been a harsh call, but how that was not a foul completely baffles me.
19min - Sustained Everton pressure for just about the first time in the game; McEachran, among others failing to clear when given a chance
20min - Romeu shows off decent diving skills (Fellaini booked) and we get a chance to relieve the pressure only to give the ball away again.
21min - More Everton possession (although nothing inherently dangerous); Bertrand wins it back finally. Anelka attacks and is dispossed, possibly fouled. No call.
22min - Kalou plays like an idiot, head down all the way and wastes our next possession.
22min - We pass it around the back for a while; Alex & Turnbull almost manage to fuck it up, but Romeu calmly settles things down.
23min - Drenthe, the nuisance, and his amazing haircut runs at Alex and wins a free kick. Alex booked, tad bit harsh. Definite foul though.
24min - Baines & Heintinga combine for a worthless free kick. Eerily quiet atmosphere at the ground.
25min - Anelka, Malouda, Kalou combine decently down the center & left and win a corner. Malouda takes aim at Ivan at the near post but he's beaten to it and Everton clear.
26min - The hosts keep the ball without much aim or purpose. Long ball over the top is well claimed by Turnbull.
27min - More Chelsea passing at the back before a long punt up to Anelka. Everton clear for a Chelsea throw.
28min - Romeu, cool, calm & collected draws a foul of frustration from Cahill. We attack quickly down the left but Kalou wastes his half chance.
29min - Bad clearance from Everton and it's Chelsea ball again.
30min - Chelsea win a free kick quite a long ways out and Alex unleashes and absolute howitzer straight into some poor schmuck in the wall. BAM! That's gonna leave a mark.
31min - More cool/calm/collected/potentially scary passing at the back. Turnbull may have more touches than most other Chelsea players.
32min - Chippy and aimless from both sides. Bertrand fouls Saha who needs treatment.
33min - AVB looking intense and semi-displeased on the sidelines.
34min - Direct long ball over the top from Malouda to Lukaku, who takes one touch and pulls his left-footed shot across the goal. Nice play.
34min - Kalou loses the ball in midfield. He's been poor in spots, anonymous in others.
35min - Good save Turnbull from a Bilyaletdinov shot after some good work by Drenthe down the right side.
36min - Bit of a silly foul by Romeu on R.R.Drenthe near midfield. Everton work the ball down the right side (Drenthe, again), but Chelsea defend well.
37min - Kalou's pass (intended over the top for Lukaku) is silly and it's Everton ball again. He's a sieve, that boy, at the moment.
38min - Alex passes to Turnbull for like 20th time in the game.
38min - We attack down the left, Bertrand's cross looks good but Mucha punches well
38min GOAL - Chelsea retain possession. Eventually the ball comes to Kalou who tries to cross/chip/dink it in for Anelka but overhits it. Mucha goes to catch it, no pressure on him, but it slips through his fingers, bounces off his hands/palms and fall into net. Quite comical. Mucha tries to laugh it off...but...ye gods.
40min - Everton keep possession, but are posing no real danger. Bertrand eventually chests a hopeful cross to Turnbull to end the sequence.
41min - AVB looking a little confused and perplexed.
42min - Fantastic, imperious run by Lukaku down the left. Picks out a good square ball at the end, but Heitinga covers at the last second for a corner.
42min - Chelsa corner (TM)
43min - Romeu gets lit up by Saha's elbow. Dr. Lisa in action.
44min - Malouda goes on a decent run through the middle, not for the first time. Gets it to Kalou in the box, who is dispossed.
44min - Romeu back on the field, looking menacing with his shiner.
45min - Everton attack snuffed out by a good McEachran interception.
45min - Attack through Anelka on the left, he loses his marker but his left-footed cross is too long for a completely unmarked Kalou on the far post.
45+1min - Good spell of possession/passing from Chelsea. Haven't had too much of this, as Everton have been pressing very high up the entire half, forcing us to play it around at the back and/or punt it long hopelessly/fully.
46+1min - McEachran, Malouda, Anelka combine well but Phil Neville makes a good tackle to stop the danger
46+1min - Drenthe leads the resulting Everton counter, Sideshow clears for corner...which Everton/Distin manage to royally fuck up. Distin completely unmarked - Turnbull caught in no-mans land, with David Luiz the closest (but it's not clear that it was his man to begin with) - heads wide of the gaping goal.
45min - AVB starts the second half with collar turned back down.
45min - Tony Hibbert on for Neville, who has been poor besides his one good tackle at the end of the half. Chelsea have enjoyed some good attacks down the Everton right side.
46min - The home team starts brighter, probing down both flanks. Romeu puts an end to danger with a great interception.
47min - Chelsea combine nicely to play out of the back, all the way up to a Kalou run and cross that Mucha claims well. That was worked wonderfully.
48min - Anelka chases a semi-lost cause and gets called for a foul.
49min - Another possession and attack started by McEachran, however Sideshow leads Malouda astray and Everton claim. But they quickly give it back to us.
50min - Kalou cuts in from the left and seems lost for a minute. Had the time and space to shoot, but didn't pull the trigger and is dispossessed.
51min - Drenthe loses possession and McEachran brings it up. Ball is worked down the left channel once more and Kalou aims a decent cross at Lukaku, but Everton clear.
51min - Another Kalou run across the top of the penalty box before firing a tame shot that's blocked. Chelsea maintain possession still.
52min - Somebody gets a toe to McEachran's through ball. Both Anelka & Malouda looked to be in the clear otherwise...
52min - Everton continue to waste their possession, this time by lumping it up aimlessly. Turnbull claims.
53min - First significant David Luiz run of the day results in a wasteful Lukaku cross (TM)
53min - Fellaini runs down the Chelsea left, Sideshow is there to defend for a corner. HAIR EVERYWHERE!!!
54min - Poor Everton corner, but they retain possession by playing it all the way back.
54min - Good pressure by Romeu and Chelsea win the ball back. Anelka is in the clear down the right channel, opts to shoot. Mucha saves well. Square pass could've been on for Lukaku or maybe even McEachran (Anelka did look up and saw his options), but it was by no means an easy pass. Plenty of blue shirts back in decent covering positions.
55min - It's all a bit aimless and haphazard at the moment. Alex hobbling.
56min - That's better from Everton. McEachran back well to cover and help out Alex.
57min - Turnbull combines dangerously with his defenders, but eventually clears. He's been involved quite a bit today and has looked fairly comfortable with the ball at his feet.
58min PENALTY, RED CARD - Alex misses & Sideshow deflects the hopeful long ball from Everton. This takes the ball away from Turnbull, who takes out Saha instead. At first glance, clear penalty and red. Sad defending from the Blues.
60min - Lukaku off, Cech on
61min PENALTY MISS - Baines misses (Cech saves the blast straight down the middle), then misses (amazing Cech save #2) an even easier/closer one from the rebound. The second rebound then is headed onto the crossbar by Cahill.
62min WHAT A SAVE! - Everton & Drenthe with their tail up. Cross to the far post finds a wide open Everton man, but Cech leaps at him like a mad man and makes another fantastic save. That's THREE sure-fire goals prevented by Cech in the space of two minutes. Abso-fucking-lutely amazing!
63min - Everton waste their good spell with a hopeful long shot.
64min - Mikel on, McEachran off. McEachran gets a nice reception from Mata & Torres on the bench. Announcers ruminate on Josh's bad luck with teammates getting sent off and forcing AVB to keep subbing him early.
64min - Relentless Everton pressure continues. Romeu gets called for a phantom foul/slap on Drenthe.
65min - Heitinga being douchey as Chelsea try to make a wall and earns a talking to from the ref
66min - Drenthe's free kick clips the top of the cross bar. Nice let off for Chelsea who had a man in the wall (Kalou, I believe) NOT jump, and that's right where the ball got through.
67min - Drenthe falls down like a clown, clutching his face. Play on. Everton continues to hog possession. Chelsea can barely catch their breath.
68min - Malouda defends well and wins the ball of Drenthe. Romeu brings it up, aiming at Anelka, but it's all a bit hopeful.
68min - Chelsea need to settle down and keep the ball a bit. Sideshow wins a freekick, after Drenthe trods on his ankle (and slips). Accidental, but it does kill some Everton momentum.
70min - Chelsea calm things down a bit by passing it around the back, first half style. Cech seems far less comfortable with this than Turnbull.
70min - AVB looks concerned and understanding ("I know I'm asking a lot, but GET IT DONE!") as he issues his orders. Moyes looks crazed and angry.
71min - Cahill beats Sideshow with a header, looking to play in Saha, but the flick is too long. Cech claims, but we waste our possession rather quickly.
72min - Tony Hibbert gets no help from his teammates down the Everton right flank; Sideshow & Bertrand defending well.
73min - More Everton probing; more good defending. Drenthe goes for it from 30 yards; no danger as he slices well wide.
74min - Mikel tries to pick out Kalou with a long ball up over the middle, but Everton defend well.
75min - Romeu draws a foul of frustration from Everton, not for the first time. Drenthe is booked; Cahill is fuming.
76min - Cynical foul on Bilyaletdinov after he wins the ball from a lollygagging Mikel. Mikel in the book. Everton free kick from a dangerous position, level with the top of the box. Baines whips it in, but we clear well.
77min - Anelka keeps hold of the ball for a minute, but eventually, with no support, he's hounded out of it. Everton attack, but Saha's pass is too long for Cahill.
78min - Chelsea gift possession back to Everton (Cech quick throw, some careless passing from Romeu, among others), their attack looks threatening, but Cech plucks the ball out well from mid-air.
79min - Kalou being utterly useless at holding the ball up. Malouda has a hopeful go from 25 yards out. Chelsea being very useless with any bit of possession lately.
80min - Tony Hibbert escapes any booking for a foul/sliding tackle from behind on Malouda. Madness. Anelka loses the ball, surrounded by 5 Everton players and no one from Chelsea helping.
81min - Sideshow defends well, winning the ball from Saha as the Everton man flails around.
81min - Bilyaletdinov off, Coleman on
82min - Ivanovic & Baines come together over a loose ball, sliding feet-first into each other. That looked like it hurt. Kalou loses the ball, but Romeu wins it back.
83min GOAL - Next spell of Everton possession and it's a goal. Couldn't be any simpler...ball out wide to Coleman who puts in a good cross. Saha beats Sideshow to the ball and it's a simple headed finish into the bottom corner at the near post.
85min - Everton continue their relentless pressure. More good work from Coleman. Cross from Hibbert comes to Drenthe, whose shot across the face of goal is juuust wide. That looked a goal for a second.
86min - Sturridge on, Kalou off. AVB gesticulates wildly to arrange his troops. The stadium has burst into life.
87min - Mikel escapes a second booking by virtue of being booked already. Clear foul on Drenthe in a promising position. Drenthe's freekick finds a completely unmarked Stracqualarsi at the top of the 6 yard box who somehow manages to head over. Shocking defending.
88min - DL bounds forward and loses the ball at the halfway line. Everton pour forward, but Alex defends well. Ivanovic puts it out for a corner.
89min - Everton corner after a purposeful Coleman run is defended by Alex. Cech eventually claims without too much trouble.
90min - Sturridge, Anelka, Romeu do well to create some pressure for the first time in like 20 minutes, and fashion a good chance that Malouda mucks up.
90+1min - Alex & Mikel defend well and clear their lines. Everton flood back again; Alex clears again. Anelka is still full of running and keeps the ball for a bit with Malouda's help.
90+1min - Ivanovic wastes our possession by a hopeless & worthless shank from like 40 yards out.
90+2min - Drenthe crosses for Cahill, Cech gets a fingertip to it. Cross from the other side; Ivan clears. Then another cross that goes long, before Saha gets it at the top of box and scorches one just wide of the left hand side post. Cech did not move.
90+3min - Anelka gets thumped as he tries to win/hold up the ball. No foul, but Bertrand wins it back.
90+4min - Anelka nearly nicks it from Distin after a really poor back header from the other Everton central defender.
90+4min - Chelsea have weathered the brunt of Everton's fury and the teams seem resigned for extra time.
90+5min - Another corner for Everton after Alex blocks a cross from deep. But it's poor and is straight at Cech.
90+5min - Instead of holding onto it, Cech releases Anelka down the left side. His long ball picks out Sturridge who cuts inside, looks to shoot, but scuffs it badly, almost completely missing the ball. Strike one. May have kicked the ground, but a good chance wasted at the death.
END OF REGULATION
91min - Everton kick off and attack straight away. Sturridge has a chance to clear, but misses. Ball over the top is claimed confidently by Cech.
92min - Everton stroke it around with no real sense of urgency. Chelsea keep their shape. Drenthe tries to wiggle through four, but we easily disposses him.
93min - Romeu wins another free kick. Chelsea kick it about a bit, before Malouda drills a terrible ball at Anelka that he fails to keep in.
94min - Everton/Drenthe rumble up the left side, Ivan defends for a corner with a well-timed crunching challenge. Corner played short but Drenthe wastes it with a terrible cross.
95min - Romeu cherundolos straight up the middle, does ever so well to keep possession. Ball ends up with Anelka out wide left, but no-one there for his cross (Sideshow was furthest forward for it, that's all that needs to be said).
96min - Everton possession; fairly aimless.
97min - Mikel's pass/clearance sells Romeu short and Everton get another cross in. Bertrand clears with an excellent header. Anelka leads the counter and sends a wonderful ball for Sturridge to run onto. Danny is shoulder to shoulder with Distin but falls down. Somewhat surprising that he couldn't beat the defender for pace, but credit to Distin for a veteran move.
98min - Everton come back; Bertrand with another excellent clearance. He's been solid, despite having to match up with the whirling dervish Drenthe and then Coleman for much of the game. Everton waste another corner.
99min - Every Chelsea player below the level of the midfield circle. Straqualarsi passes poorly and it's Chelsea ball.
100min - David Luiz with a purposeful run, but Mikel passes poorly and Everton almost break the other way. Fantastic saving tackle from Romeu. He's been excellent.
100min - Another Sideshow run, draws a mean looking foul from Cahill who could have had 7 yellow cards by now.
101min - DL takes his own free kick from like 40 yards out and it's not a bad one at all. Mucha forced into a good save down low to his right.
101min - Romeu wins the ball back and Sideshow goes for ANOTHER strong run. Everton defend and break the other way, David Luiz and his hair streaking back to cover.
102min - Shot of David Luiz smiling sheepishly while catching his breath...as if to say, what I've waited 100 minutes to do that! He's literally ran/sprinted the length of field 6 times in the last 3 minutes,
103min - Everton finally settle down (Chelsea's attacks of the last few minutes have completely taken the crowd out of it, too) and pass it around for a bit. Mikel makes a good interception on a attempted throughball.
104min - Glorious 60 yard pass from David Luiz, but FloMo is offside. Drenthe gifts the ball back to Anelka with a dreadful/lazy crossfield ball.
105min - Ivanovic makes a nice run of the right side, cuts it back across the penalty area but nobody there to slam it home. Everton take over and come back up their left side. Alex clears well with a header.
105min - AVB mines the brain of Steve Holland for how to win this thing.
HALF TIME IN EXTRA TIME
106min - Chelsea kick off, but Everton win it back almost right away. Fellaini with a circus spin to knock Romeu on his ass. Everton lose it quickly though and we attack through Romeu, who does well to win a corner.
107min RED CARD - Chelsea Corner (TM). Drenthe tries to lead the counter but the ball runs away from him and Bertrand steps up well to cover. Drenthe makes no effort to stop and completely blows up the youngster. Fully deserved yellow card for a reckless and silly challenge. It's his second and he's off.
108min - 10v10. 1 goal each. 1 missed penalty each. Fellaini gets fouled by Malouda.
109min - Tony Hibbert with a hopeless long range effort. Earlier, Alex blocked Saha's long shot very well. Since their sustained pressure that resulted in the goal, Everton have resorted to blasting it from range. A bit baffling, since they were getting so much joy moving the ball out wide, using their numerical advantage well.
110min - Romeu comes forward with a good run, but ends up passing it aimlessly and to nobody in particular.
111min - All of a sudden, Everton can't get a touch. It's ALL Chelsea here as they probe patiently.
112min - About 30 passes later, Mikel sets Bertrand free in the penalty area. He chips it across, but somehow Anelka contrives to miss from 6 yards out. Baines on the line, the post, Mucha all involved as Anelka slowly descends into a Torres-esque purgatory of not being able to pray the ball into the back of the net.
113min - Anelka's cross from the right side is swung and missed at by Sturridge. Strike two.
114min - Ivanovic with another long shot, this time forcing a good save from Mucha. Malouda's corner is cleared to Sturridge, whose shot is blocked.
115min - It continues to be ALL Chelsea. Everton haven't had more than 5 touches in the last 5 minutes. Sturridge works free on the left side, but no one there to take advantage of his cross.
116min GOAL - Chelsea keep the ball and find Malouda free for a long shot. It's well hit, on target; no chance for the keeper to hold it. The rebound is loose, and Sturridge is on it like flash to roll it into the bottom right corner.
Strike three, Everton, you're out!
117min - From the ensuing kick off, Saha almost finds a long range equalizer. Cech is down quickly and saves with his knees. Fortunately, his rebound control is much better than Mucha's and the danger is cleared.
118min - AVB says "raise the
roof ground" urging his troops to settle down. ¡Cálmate!
119min - Malouda keeps possession and slows things down by winning a free kick, selling Cahill's nudge well. He follows that up with a total brain fart and gives the ball straight to Everton. Saha runs into Romeu's knee and needs treatment.
120min - Everton sportingly give the ball back to Chelsea after Saha's treatment. Two added minutes.
120+1min - Sturridge runs at the Everton goal, Everton defend well. Chelsea keep hold of the ball and Anelka wins a free kick, again off of Cahill.
120+2min - Anelka suddenly develops a cramp. Dr. Ivanovic is on the scene and expertly stretches out the muscle. It's a Midweek Miracle and Anelka is walking again!
120+2min - Ivanovic fails to keep the ball for longer than a few seconds down by the corner flag, Everton attack desperately, but it all breaks down rather weakly and aimlessly.
120+3min - Final long ball up, Alex clears easily. Peep, peep, peep goes the referee's whistle. AVB channels all his energy into his fists and runs onto the field, clearly elated.
FULL TIME! Good Guys 2, Bogey Team 1