Have you ever lay awake at night wishing there was more Specialness in your life? That Jose Mourinho could somehow return to Chelsea and use magic pixie dust to make Paulo Ferreira amazing* again? That we'd have a little bit more punch on the counterattack and a tiny bit more defensive organisation? Well then I have good(ish) news. Take it away, Jose:
I've decided to return to England. I have nothing prepared about my future - I just want to be happy in my work. I have no preferences about Manchester United, Manchester City or Chelsea. I just want to rediscover the joy. I'm not saying the Premier League is the most spectacular in the world but it is the best organised, the fair play and the enormous respect for your opponent.
-Jose Mourinho, Real Madrid manager. Source: Mail.
People tend to fall into two camps regarding Mourinho. Many see him as one of the most brilliant tactical minds in the world with a hilarious tendency to self-aggrandise himself to the point of irony. The rest of the planet sees him as one of the most brilliant tactical minds in the world who also happens to be a complete tool. I like irony, and self-deprecating humour is all played out, so I'm on team Jose here, but I totally understand disliking the person. But nobody will really contest that he's a genuinely amazing manager. The fact that he's also the most successful boss in Chelsea history helps me like him more, of course, but that's neither here nor there.
Carlo Ancelotti, on the other hand, is a pretty good manager in his own right. He's also much more traditionally loveable. Who'd turn down a cuddle from Carlo? Not this blogger. Under Ancelotti, Chelsea have been playing more exciting football and have turned from the most hated team in England to someone the neutrals don't mind too much (thanks Man City). They're also not as good at winning games as they used to be. Is that a good tradeoff? I prefer winning, myself. And Mourinho is much funnier (sorry Carlo. Maybe compare Yuri Zhirkov to steak more often?).
Frankly, I'd run Ancelotti over with a steamroller to get Mourinho back, especially if it would stop him going to City or United. Your mileage may vary though (steamrollers get crappy mileage, incidentally). Anyway, Chelsea: Please please please let me have him back. If he goes to Manchester City, which seems likely because they are literally made out of money, I might cry.
*Ferreira being one of the best fullbacks in the world under Mou's tutelage was probably the most impressive piece of work the Special One ever did.