The newly-renamed Chris Sutton-Winston Bogarde Award for wack transfer of the season goes to ... Luiz Felipe Scolari
The fat, loveable World Cup winner traded national team football with Portugal for the sunny side of London and Stamford Bridge. It all seemed perfect, too, when the Blues pelted Portsmouth 4-0 on the opening day of the 08-09 season. That was until an appalling run of results in the winter -- including a goalless draw against Hull ... at home -- led to Scolari's sacking just seven months into his tenure at Stamford Bridge. Oh, and he also played a role in the club's record 86-game home unbeaten run coming to an end. Three cheers for Phil!
Honorable mention: Deco
The Jody Morris Award for least valuable player of the season goes to ... Mineiro
The Brazilian midfielder has been with the club for the better part of eight months -- and has made one first-team appearance. Killer for the reserves, though.
Honorable mention: Paulo Ferreira
The Diana Ross "I'm Coming Out" Award goes to ... Branislav Ivanovic
Brani had made a few sporadic appearances, but had never really been given the opportunity to justify his £9.7 million transfer fee. Then came April 8, 2009. The Serbian worked the right side of defense, in place of the injured Bosingwa, in the opening leg of the Blues' Champions League quarterfinal against Liverpool at Anfield. He went on two score twice, both headers, and provide a superlative shift in defense. The rest, as they say, is history.
Honorable mention: Alex
The Frank Arnensen Award for young player of the season goes to ... Michael Mancienne
Finally, we have a winner! The 21-year-old defender made a first-team appearance this season -- shocking, I know. In fact, he made a few. But first, he absolutely tore it up in the Championship as a loanee at Wolverhampton. He was named man of the match in his inaugural start for the eventually league champions, a 2-1 away win against Cardiff City. He then went on to drop bombs on your moms. Mancienne was even called into England's senior side for the friendly against Germany.
Honorable mention: Miroslav Stoch
The "I was s***, but now I'm awesome" Award for most improved player of the season goes too ... Florent Malouda
Who saw this coming? On the verge of extinction under Scolari, Flo pulled an astonishing 180 once buoyed by the tutelage of Guus Hiddink. Over the final three months of the season, it's hard not to argue Malouda was Chelsea's best player. He scored nine goals in 43 appearances this season, five of those -- along with three assists -- coming over the final month of the season. He was sensational against both Liverpool and Barcelona in the Champions League, but perhaps his finest moment in a Chelsea shirt was the FA Cup Final/ There, he was simply phenomenal. A truly amazing transformation: from almost certainly on his way out to an automatic first-team selection. Lets just hope he continues down this path under Ancelotti.
Honorable mention: Nicolas Anelka
Super Frank & Flo. Dynamic.
The "F*** official awards lists and ceremonies, I'm the best damn player in the world" Award for player of the season goes too ... Frank Lampard
What needs to be said? Super Frank was super under Scolari. He was super super under Hiddink. Another season of 20 goals, his fourth straight. Another season of unmatched effort. Another season of carrying us when need be. Really, is there a more inspirational figure in England (save Gerrard)? Here's to the most efficient player in the land.
Honorable mention: Ashley Cole