I got your predictions down low

I want to do predictions. So I'm going to do them. You can lambaste me now -- or more appropriately, at the end of the season. Feel free to improve on my egregious decisions in the comments section.

-The Chelsea Offside 2008-09 English Premiership predictions-

1. Chelsea
Really, was there any doubt?
2. Manchester United
Close. Again.
3. Liverpool
Nobody cares about Liverpool. Nobody.
4. Arsenal
See No. 3.
5. Aston Villa
Added some much-needed depth. Villains still need more firepower, but should be able to stave off Spurs and Everton.
6. Tottenham
Plenty of flair signings. Still incredibly pourous at the back, regardless of Gomes.
7. Everton
Still have time to reinforce, but look likely to regress without another proven striker to partner Yakubu.
8. Portsmouth
Could easily finish as high as fifth. Aging central defense tells me otherwise.
9. West Ham
No clue why.
10. Manchester City
Only if Thaskin threatens Stephen Ireland with death will City finish this high.
11. Middlesbrough
Good attack. Really.
12. Newcastle
Boring.
13. Sunderland
Keano has done just enough in the market to enjoy a comfortable finishing position.
14. Wigan
Decent enough. Get De Ridder some time.
15. Blackburn
If they can keep Roque, Blackeye Rovers should survive.
16. Fulham
Lost to Hull. 'Nuff said.
17. Bolton
I could care less what happens to Bolton, as long as Elmander nets at least 10 goals.
18. West Bromwich Albion
Not enough juice.
19. Stoke City
Not too stoked about the Potters
20. Hull City
::Waits for Hull City supporters to attack::

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